Communique
by MariaShadow
Summary: G1 A peek into the chaos that is the daily lives of the 'bots...via their paging system
1. Chapter 1

_Quick note- original version had all the proper email addy trappings, but ate them_

Communiqué

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Reminder  
The Secretary of Defence is scheduled to meet us in the conference room at 1900 hours. Please have the reports ready for presentation.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Reminder  
Got it  
P.S- for the last time, do something with your addy before I do! It's soooooo boring!

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Reminder  
It is perfectly functional as it is. Leave it alone.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Reminder  
That a threat?

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Reminder  
Yes.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Reminder  
Okies

0o00o0

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
To: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: Fair Warning  
Blades is here. If you want to keep him, please remove him. Air Raid has a mace.

From: Hotspot (lthotspottrannet)  
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
Subject: Re Fair Warning  
Copy that. ETA two minutes

0o0o0

From: anonymous  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Red Alert's going hunting!  
Contraband raid 2pm! Hide!

0o0o0

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: All addresses excluding kaboomtrannet  
Subject: Priority Alert  
Wheeljack has nitroglycerine. Projected blast radius- second, third and fourth decks, starboard side.

0o0o0

From: Perceptor (perceptortrannet)  
To: Bluestreak (blubottrannet)  
Subject: Cat  
Remove it.

From: Bluestreak (blubottrannet)  
To: Perceptor (perceptortrannet)  
Subject: Re Cat  
Okay I'm on my way now I've just got to finish inventory in the armoury 'cause Ironhide told me to get it done before whoever it is arrives from the government but I really don't get why the inventory has to be finished before then it's not like he's going to be looking through here anyway at least I think it's a he the person that's coming anyway I'll  
-message capacity exceeded-

0o0o0

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: or else  
I'm gonna pop the question to Carly tonight. One word and I'll make sure neither of you show your faces for a month.

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re or else  
Oh yeah?

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re or else  
Yeah

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re or else  
Oh yeah?

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re or else  
One word- Bambi

0o0o0

From: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Security Breach  
Someone has hacked into my personal files and transmitted data to every single occupant of the Ark! I demand greater security measures! If anyone can just waltz on in and access my personal data, then just imagine what else could be stolen and sent to the Decepticons! It's intolerable! How I am expected to do my job when not even basic security is attend  
-message capacity exceeded-

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Subject: Re Security Breach  
I will look into it immediately

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Warning  
Please refrain from hacking into Red Alert's personal files, or at least don't leave any traces behind. It upsets him.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Warning  
Ok. Next time he won't notice a thing ; )

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject?  
You got it?

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re ?  
Yup. Let's do this.

0o0o0

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
Subject: Coming?  
Local ranger gave me the go-ahead, you still want to come?

From: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Re Coming?  
Do you have to ask?

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: I need a favour  
You got any nitro left? I need to scare someone.

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re I need a favour  
…are they red and yellow?

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re I need a favour  
Yup

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re I need a favour  
Be right there.

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Run


	2. Chapter 2

Communiqué 2

From: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Question  
Have you been able to locate the twins yet?

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Subject: Re Question  
Yup, three minutes ago. They'd bunkered down over in the pines. Not the happiest of mechs either.

From: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Question  
Any idea what happened to them?

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Question  
Well, as far as I've heard, it involved Ratchet, nitro, rope and that cornflour slime stuff

From: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Question  
Ah. Shall I meet you back in the Common room for drinks after shift? Smokescreen said that he had a new proposition to discuss.

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Question  
I'll be there

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Blaster (bebopbottrannet)  
Subject: Got em!  
I am now the proud possessor of no less than two tickets to the U2 concert next week. You interested?

From: Blaster (bebopbottrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Got em!  
'You interested'? You're kidding, right?

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Blaster (bebopbottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Got em!  
:D Had to ask

0o0o0

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Direct order  
My office. Immediately.

0o0o0

From: Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
To: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: Quick question  
I know it's most of your team's day off, but can we borrow Blades and Groove? Bluestreak's stuck in a tree.

From: Hotspot (lthotspottrannet)  
To: Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
Subject: Re Quick question  
…How on earth did he get stuck in a tree?

From: Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
To: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Quick question  
I have no idea

From: Hotspot (lthotspottrannet)  
To: Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Quick question  
They're on their way, ETA six minutes

From: Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
To: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Quick question  
Thanks

0o0o0

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Please  
Please tell me you didn't

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Please  
smirk I did

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Please  
You are going to be the death of me someday.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Please  
All the more reason to take some of the leave you've got backed up, isn't it? ; )

0o0o0

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Official announcement  
Carly and I are now officially engaged to be married!

0o0o0

From: Beachcomber (rocksbottrannet)  
To: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
Subject: Did you see?  
That meteor shower last night was like, dude, y'know?

From: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
To: Beachcomber (rocksbottrannet)  
Subject: Re Did you see?  
Totally dude, totally. Like, totally wow, dude.

From: Beachcomber (rocksbottrannet)  
To: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Did you see?  
Word.

0o0o0

From: Fireflight (deadacestrannet)  
To: Slingshot: (flieracetrannet)  
Subject: question  
You heard about Spike and Carly, right?

From: Slingshot (flieracetrannet)  
To: Fireflight (deadacestrannet)  
Subject: Re question  
Yeah, why?

From: Fireflight (deadacestrannet)  
To: Slingshot: (flieracetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re question  
What does he mean by 'engaged'? Is it as in 'I've engaged the enemy'?

From: Slingshot (flieracetrannet)  
To: Fireflight (deadacestrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re question  
Fragged if I know. Let's ask Jazz

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: All addresses excluding hatchetsapprenticetrannet, swooptrannet  
Subject: Priority warning  
First Aid and Swoop are being tested today. Come near the Repair Bay and I'll rip out your pistons.

0o0o0

From: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
To: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Subject: What do you think?  
Well, the new data has come in from the stockmarket and companies. I've forwarded it to your personal computer. Any thoughts?

From: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
To: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
Subject: Re What do you think?  
It appears to be too good to be true for my tastes. I suggest that we pull out of Enron quickly.

From: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
To: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re What do you think?  
I thought so too. I'll pass the word on to the others.

0o0o0

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: All addresses excluding hatchetsapprenticetrannet, swooptrannet  
Subject: Re- Repair Bay  
All clear.

0o0o0

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
Subject:  
You pass?

From: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
To: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
Subject: Re  
Ratchet say me pass with 'flying colours'

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
Subject: Re Re  
That good?

From: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
To: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re  
Ratchet say it very good. Me Field Medic grade 6 now.

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re  
Good. You come to Common room. Us Dinobots party!

0o0o0

From: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Well?  
Did you pass?

From: Blades (chopperbottrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Well?  
Didja pass?

From: Streetwise (trekkerbottrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Well?  
(pokes) Pass?

From: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: C'mon man  
Tell us already, didja pass?

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Blades (chopperbottrannet)  
Streetwise (trekkerbottrannet)  
Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
Subject: ..well  
I'm afraid that I…..…….PASSED, 100! First Aid, Field Medic Grade One!

From: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Blades (chopperbottrannet)  
Streetwise (trekkerbottrannet)  
Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
Subject: Re…well  
FANTASTIC! Everyone down to the Common room, celebration time!

From: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Blades (chopperbottrannet)  
Streetwise (trekkerbottrannet)  
Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
Subject: Re…well  
Actually, let's move it to the Rec room.

From: Streetwise (trekkerbottrannet)  
To: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re …well  
Good idea

0o0o0

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: question  
The twins still alive and kicking? 'Cause I ain't heard anything for a while.

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: Re question  
I just checked on them. Yes, they are alive, no, they are not kicking. I'm surprised the rafters and cables have supported them for so long.

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re question  
You do know that Ratchet will kill you if you gotta drag those two into Repair after this

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re question  
Unlikely. This was his idea to begin with. I believe he called it 'tit for tat'

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re question  
Heh, you're a braver mech than I am.

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Well?  
Figured a way out of this yet?

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Well?  
Yeah. Just gimme a minute to get my knife…fragging Pit-fire!

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Well?  
You dropped it.

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Well?  
…I think I noticed that, Sideswipe.


	3. Chapter 3

Communiqué 3

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
Subject: Here, now!  
Get your team over here for check ups. Now. I don't have time to chase up a bunch of new-builts 'cause they're scared of a few scans.

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re Here, now!  
I'll do my best. Be there in fifteen minutes.

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject?  
So, Plan A, Plan E, or Plan F?

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re ?  
Plan A. We might as well be alphabetical.

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re ?  
A it is then.  
Muhahaha! Revenge shall be sweet evil grin

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re ?  
Indeed.

0o0o0

From: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
To: Windcharger (hotonthespottrannet)  
Subject: Hey  
You still coming to the game tonight?

From: Windcharger (hotonthespottrannet)  
To: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
Subject: Re Hey  
Yup. Dragging Bluestreak along too. Did you hear about what Prowl did to the twins this time?

From: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
To: Windcharger (hotonthespottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Hey  
From what I heard, Ratchet got him to give 'em a taste of their own medicine. Tied up like mummies and hung by their heels from the rafters in the cargo bays.

From: Windcharger (hotonthespottrannet)  
To: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Hey  
Heh, doubt they'll ever learn. See you at 2030 hours

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Slingshot (seekerhuntertrannet)  
Subject: GET YOUR SCRAWNY AFT DOWN HERE NOW!

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Steeljaw (trackandtracetrannet)  
Subject: Job offer  
Slingshot's gone AWOL from a medical check up. Ratchet's set a bounty of eight liters of mid-grade energon on his wings. Interested?

From: Steeljaw (trackandtracetrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject : Re Job offer  
Done

0o0o0

_From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes… _

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Advice  
Just ignore it, they will stop once they get bored.

_From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes… _

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Cease, immediately!  
I know who you are and I order you to cease this immediately before I reveal you as the double agents I know that you are! You've compromised Ark security for the last time, and I will ensure that you are punished to the full extent of the law. DO YOU HEAR ME!

_From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…_

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Ha ha  
I think we got Red Alert upset : p

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Ha ha  
Hehehe, I'm just getting started

_From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…_

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Help  
Somebody, help! Please! Ghyaaa!

_From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes… _

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Blaster (bebopbottrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: AAAAAAH!  
MakeitstopMakeitstop MAKE IT STOP!

_From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes… _

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Whoever you are  
Stop the frag now before I volunteer you to be Swoop's next practice patient.

_From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes… _

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Requesting permission  
To shoot the fraggin' lil' scraplets on sight.

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: Re Requesting permission  
Permission gladly granted. Spread the word.

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: All addresses excluding cheekydeviltrannet, handsomedeviltrannet  
Subject: Permission granted  
To shoot the slaggers responsible for this on sight.

_From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes… _

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: All addresses excluding cheekydeviltrannet, handsomedeviltrannet  
Subject: Working on it  
I'm tracing them now.

_From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes… _

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon  
To: All addresses  
-autorepeat set-  
Subject: I know (audio file attached)  
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on **–message interrupted-**

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: OH SLAG! RUN!

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: All addresses excluding cheekydeviltrannet, handsomedeviltrannet  
Subject: KILL!  
KILL! Killkillkillkillkillkillkillkill!

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: All addresses excluding cheekydeviltrannet, handsomedeviltrannet  
Subject: I see 'em!  
They're headed due south, towards Portland

From: Hotspot (lthotspottrannet)  
To: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
Subject: twins  
Are headed in your direction, get 'em!

From: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
To: Hotspot (lthotspottrannet)  
Subject: Re twins  
Gotcha

From: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
To: Hotspot (lthotspottrannet)  
Subject: Re twins  
Sorry boss, they lost me at the river

From: Hotspot (lthotspottrannet)  
To: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re twins  
Don't worry, I'll contact Blaster

From: Blaster (bebopbottrannet)  
To: Steeljaw (trackntracetrannet)  
Subject: Sic' em!

From: Steeljaw (trackntracetrannet)  
To: Blaster (bebopbottrannet)  
Subject: Sic'em!  
Gladly

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: All addresses excluding cheekydeviltrannet, handsomedeviltrannet  
Subject: Return to base  
All Autobots, return to base or patrol. We cannot allow the base to be left defenseless because of a childish but very irritating prank. The twins will be forced to return soon and will summarily be dealt with.

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Slingshot (seekerhuntertrannet)  
Subject: Oh no you don't  
Get. Your. Winged. Aft. Down. Here. Now. Or else.

From: Slingshot (seekerhuntertrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re Oh no you don't  
...on my way


	4. Chapter 4

Communiqué 4

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Hey Jazz…  
Y'know how Spike and Carly are getting married?

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Hey Jazz…  
Yeah?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Hey Jazz…  
You know what it means, right?

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Hey Jazz…  
…no

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Hey Jazz…  
BATCHELOR PARTY!

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Hey Jazz…  
XD! Jackpot! This is gonna be –sweet-!

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Hey Jazz…  
Oh yeah! Meetcha at 1210 for planning, right?

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Re Hey Jazz…  
I'll be there

0o0o0

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: request  
The twins have been caught with illegal contraband again. Would you be able to deal with them this time?

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re request  
Sure. You not feeling up to their particular brand o' insubordination?

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re request  
No.

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re request  
Well, least you can be thankful for one thing when it comes to those little glitches.

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re request  
What is that?

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re request  
There's only two of 'em. Just think of the mayhem if they had a little sister or something for back up

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re request  
You ok in there? Thought I heard a bang or a thud or something

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re request  
I'm fine

0o0o0

From: Anonymous  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Heads up!  
Flu shots today! Hide!

0o0o0

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Bluestreak (blubottrannet)  
Subject: Q?  
Was it 4 or 2 footballs you wanted Blue?

From: Bluestreak (blubottrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Re Q?  
Um, better make it 4, 'cause I promised Spike and Bumblebee that I'd help them with teaching the Dinobots how to play rugby, seeing as Jazz taught us and then the Dinobots heard about it and they wanted to play, and anyway you know how rough the Dinobots get so it'd be good if we have some spares and stuff.

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Bluestreak (blubottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Q?  
Heh, good idea Blue. Pick up at 0800 tomorrow?

From: Bluestreak (blubottrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Q?  
Thanks 'Jack!

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject:  
Firewall upgrades and viral defence software patches today. Schedule is posted in the common room. Be there on time or else.

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: JAZZ!  
STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY FILES OR SO HELP ME I'LL TEACH YOU A NEW DEFINITION TO THE WORD PAIN!

0o0o0

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: What did you do?  
I just passed Prowl in the hallway. He was muttering something about 'spit roasted Porsche'. What did you do?

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re What did you do?  
Who said I did anything? Coulda been someone else

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re What did you do?  
You are the only Porsche on the Ark. By process of elimination, he was talking about you.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re What did you do?  
Weeeellll, when ya put it that way…I kinda called in a couple of markers and fixed up a lil' holiday for Prowl. Got in touch with a guy I know in th' vicinity of the Cook Islands. He owns this resort on one of the smaller islands, and it's the off season down there, so there's plenty of room to stash an over-worked 2IC for a week.

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re What did you do?  
You've arranged for Prowl to take an entire –week- off?

Well done Jazz.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re What did you do?  
Heh, just doing my duty :D

0o0o0

From: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
To: Tracks (killercorvettetrannet)  
Subject: Hey  
You got the movies?

From: Tracks (killercorvettetrannet)  
To: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
Subject: Re Hey  
Yes, 1 and 2 of The Fast and the Furious, and three of the Dennis the Menace series. No thanks to those insufferable Lamborghinis and their cravings for sly-grog.

From: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
To: Tracks (killercorvettetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Hey  
They got caught again? Sounds like the punishment detail for that song slowed them up some

From: Tracks (killercorvettetrannet)  
To: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Hey  
Agreed. One must wonder how Prowl arranged for General Hawk to have those two slated for that 'Hell Week' training programme that that Marine 'Beachhead' or whatever he was had organised.

From: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
To: Tracks (killercorvettetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Hey  
Heh, don't ask me. All I know is that he and the General seem to have some common ground when it comes to trouble makers. Did you see that unit of his?

From: Tracks (killercorvettetrannet)  
To: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Hey  
Yes, quite a motley assortment indeed. Oh, by the way, Jazz is planning a bachelor party for Spike. Meeting in the Common Room at 1210

From: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
To: Tracks (killercorvettetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Hey  
Thanks, should be fun

0o0o0

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Was wondering  
What's all this about 'flu shots'? I've heard about it a couple of times now.

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Was wondering  
A bad joke that got old years ago.You know how we get those software upgrades and patches to protect against viruses and what not?

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Was wondering  
Yeah

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Was wondering  
When they heard about it, it was either Spike or Chip who made a joke comparing it to 'flu shots. The nickname stuck, and the resident trouble makers have made it a point of honour to avoid them for as long as possible. As you can guess, Ratchet just loves that.

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Was wondering  
Isn't that kind of dangerous?

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Was wondering  
Yup. Why else do you think they do it?

0o0o0

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Problem  
Uh, I just checked the supply lockers, and all the bungy cords we use to tie down stuff are missing.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Problem  
...all of them? Dude, you've got the world's supply of bungy cords in there

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Problem  
Yup, every last one.

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Problem  
I would not be surprised if Sideswipe was somehow involved. I suggest that we spread the word to the other officers and all take extra precautions. He's up to something.


	5. Chapter 5

Communiqué 5 

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Subject: Apologies dude  
But no, you can't kill the red one. We still need 'im

Besides, Ratchet's already got dibs

0o0o0

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Official notice  
Carly's mother is coming to help plan the wedding. She will be staying for a week. Best behavior is mandatory. All miscreants will be turned over to either Ratchet or Grapple without a hearing.

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject:  
Prowl's gonna do a room-by-room before Carly's mom gets here. I'll hide the prank stuff, you take the booze and contraband. Usual places?

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re  
Ok.

0o0o0

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Mom's coming  
Mom's plane should be landing in an hour, do you have everything ready? I'd better check the guest room just in case. And does Sparkplug know? Oh gosh, I really hope she doesn't freak out. She didn't say anything on the phone when I told her, that can't be a good thing.

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Mom's coming  
Calm down love, I've checked and double checked everything and the guest room is cleaner than brig floor after a punishment detail. Don't panic, she can't be worse than Nana Caroline

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Mom's coming  
Calm down? I've met your granny. You haven't met my mom.

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Hey girl  
Heard you had a couple o' worries about your mother arriving. Don't you worry about a thing, the Jazz-man is on the case. Diplomacy just happens to be a talent 'o mine ; ) I'll be happy t' help with the planning.

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Hey girl  
Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou Jazz!

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Hey girl  
Heh, no worries lil' lady, I'm happy t' lend a hand

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject:  
Check and see if those parts are in yet

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Grapple (grappletrannet)  
Subject: Mail order  
Have the new parts come in yet?

From: Grapple (grappletrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Re Mail order  
Yes, the boxes are here and are currently being threat-scanned by Red Alert. You can come pick them up in about 45 minutes.

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Grapple (grappletrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Mail order  
Thankyou

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re  
Grapple says half an hour, boss

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re  
Good

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Blaster (bebopbottrannet)  
Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Perceptor (perceptortrannet)  
Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Bluestreak (bluebottrannet)  
Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Tracks (killercorvettetrannet)  
Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Brawn (strongbottrannet)  
Cliffjumper (redrumblertrannet)  
Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
Beachcomber (rocksbottrannet)  
Cosmos (autoufotrannet)  
Omega Supreme (omega1trannet)  
Gears (grumpandgroantrannet)  
Huffer (huffertrannet)  
Grapple (grappletrannet)  
Hoist (hoisttrannet)  
Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
Inferno (bigredtrannet)  
Windcharger (hotonthespottrannet)  
Subject: Word of Warning  
Heads up 'bout Carly's mom. Do not approach under any circumstances, 'cause this is one scary lady. Like, forget WMD, we could win the war if we air-dropped her inta the 'cons base.

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Word of Warning  
Are you serious?

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Word of Warning  
Dude, I speak no lie.

0o0o0

From: Bluestreak (blubottrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Has anyone seen Twostroke?

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Bluestreak (blubottrannet)  
Subject: Re Has anyone seen Twostroke?  
Kitty sleeping in Dinobot room. You Bluestreak leave her alone, she with us.

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: …  
…girl, your mother is one scary lady.

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re …  
I know, I'm really sorry Jazz

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re …  
Don't be girl, it's not your fault.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re …  
Ok, now –that- was uncalled for. This means war.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Autobots vs Scary Lady.  
Current score 0:1  
Watch this space

0o0o0

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: You were right

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re You were right  
Why else do you think I went to a college three states away?

0o0o0

From: Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject?  
I just heard from Jazz that Scary Lady wanted the wedding in that little white chapel off Smith Ave

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
Subject: Re ?  
Yup

From: Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re ?  
But we can't even fit through the door! Only the cassettes have a chance

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re ?  
I think that was her plan.

From: Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re ?  
Ok, Scary Lady's going down

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Autobots vs Scary Lady.  
Current score 2:1, thanks to a brilliant play by the Bee-bot  
Booyaw!

0o0o0

From: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
To: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Subject: Stock markets  
Just heard that gold and oil are up in value and share prices in Ford are down three cents. Any thoughts?

From: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
To: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
Subject: Re Stock markets  
I'll get in touch with my broker and see what else I can dig up. I'll get back to you in an hour.

0o0o0

From: Cosmos (autoufotrannet)  
To: Beachcomber (rocksbottrannet)  
Subject: Found something  
Found some odd looking rocks up here, do you want a sample for when I come down?

From: Beachcomber (rocksbottrannet)  
To: Cosmos (autoufotrannet)  
Subject: Re Found something  
For sure, man! I can't wait to see them!

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Autobots vs Scary Lady.  
Current score 2:2

0o0o0

From: Grapple (grappletrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: They're ready  
Red Alert has cleared the boxes, they're ready for pick up

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Grapple (grappletrannet)  
Thanks Grapple, I'll be there in a minute

0o0o0

From: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
To: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
Subject: Stocks  
We're good on buying up Ford stocks, but the broker advises getting rid of the mining as opposed to the bullion.

From: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
To: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Subject: Re Stocks  
Seems logical to me. I'll get right on it.

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Autobots vs Scary Lady.  
Closing score 4:2 as Scary Lady bows out early on the first day. Take that!

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Blaster (bebopbottrannet)  
Subject: …dude  
I'm in serious chill-withdrawal here dude. Any chance I can snag some Frank Sinatra, U2, Kutless and Switchfoot off you?

From: Blaster (bebopbottrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re …dude  
Whatever tunes you need are yours for the listening pleasure my man. Hail t' the conquering hero!

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Blaster (bebopbottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re …dude  
Heh, thanks dude.

0o0o0

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: So…  
Do we really, absolutely, definitely need your mother at the wedding?

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re So…  
Unless you want to hear about it from every female relative on my side of the family for the rest of our natural lives, afraid so.

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re So…  
Lesser evil and all that?

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re So…  
Yup

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re So…  
This is going to be a very long week.


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's note- Kudos to Epona from the 'cell and whoever it was who coined the term 'Senior Crankypants_

Communiqué 6

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject?  
You're smiling

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re ?  
Yup

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re ?  
My mother is here and you're smiling. My mother is –talking- and you're smiling.

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re ?  
Yup

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re ?  
What did you do?

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re ?  
Oh, nothing much. You'll find out soon enough ; )

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Autobots vs Scary Lady.  
And the competitors roll up for day two. Stay tuned.

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: the kid  
Alright, you can borrow First Aid for the day, but I want him back in one piece. It's fragging hard to find a good assistant these days.

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re the kid  
Gotcha.

0o0o0

From: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
To: Slingshot (flieracetrannet)  
Subject: Hunting season  
I've got the stuff, you ready?

From: Slingshot (flieracetrannet)  
To: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
Subject: Re Hunting season  
Yeah! Let's do this!

0o0o0

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: You didn't  
You called in Nana Caroline?

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re You didn't  
Ayup. She's already been briefed on what we want for the wedding and ready to rumble

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re You didn't  
I love you Spike

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Autobots vs Scary Lady.  
Current score 1: 0 as the 'bots side brings a fresh player to the line up, none other than Spike's very own Nana Caroline!

0o0o0

From: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
Subject: They're at it again  
Slingshot and Air Raid are out here Blades-baiting again. One's already down and he's working on the other.

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
To: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: Re They're at it again  
I've got half a mind to leave them there. Alright, I'll bring my other two and we'll be down there in a minute

From: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re They're at it again  
Thanks

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: …dude  
Watching these two is like…verbal tennis, y'know?

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re …dude  
Yeah, all we need is a net. Hey, what's the score now Jazz?

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re …dude  
Dunno, I've lost count. Hey, maybe we should record and relay 'em as a live broadcast and get Eject and Rewind to play commentator

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re …dude  
Ha! That'd be brilliant!

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re …dude  
Don't you dare, mother will kill me when she finds out

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re …dude  
Aww, c'mon girl, y' doing me an injustice here

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re …dude  
I know you far too well Jazz

0o0o0

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: Steeljaw (trackntracetrannet)  
Subject: Was wondering  
You want in on a trip to Yellowstone?

From: Steeljaw (trackntracetrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Re Was wondering  
Yes

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: I'm bored

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re I'm bored  
And?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re I'm bored  
I'm gonna pester Prowl

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re I'm bored  
You're an idiot

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re I'm bored  
I love you too ; P

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject?  
I heard you scored a holiday to the Cook Islands

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re ?  
I did.

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re ?  
You gonna get some souvenirs?

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re ?  
Yes

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re ?  
Any for me and Sunny?

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re?  
Not if you keep bothering me

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re ?  
Well ex-cuse me for caring

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re?  
It's not the caring that concerns me. It's the interest

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Tehehehe  
Watch this

From: System Administrator (trantrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Notification- Address change  
(autobotprowltrannet) changed to (summerholidaytrannet)

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Tehehehe  
XD!

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Tehehehe  
O.O! He's gonna kill you!

0o0o0

From: System Administrator (trantrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Notification- Address change  
(dajazzmantrannet) changed to (dajazz-lessmantrannet)

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Muahahaha  
This gives me an idea…

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Muahahaha  
Heh, I think it's given a few people ideas

0o0o0

From: System Administrator (trantrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Notification- Address change  
(ironhidetrannet) changed to (grandpatrannet)

0o0o0

From: System Administrator (trantrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Notification- Address change  
(skykingtrannet) changed to (dramaqueentrannet)  
(flieracetrannet) changed to (seekerkilltrannet)

0o0o0

From: System Administrator (trantrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Notification- Address change  
(chopperbottrannet) changed to (chopperfacetrannet)

0o0o0

From: System Administrator (trantrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Notification- Address change  
(cmowithahatchettrannet) changed to (seniorcrankypantstrannet)

0o0o0

From: System Administrator (trantrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Notification- Address change  
(redalerttrannet) changed to (sgtspazztrannet)

0o0o0

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject:  
Children, behave

0o0o0

From: System Administrator (trantrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Notification- Address change  
All addresses reset to default

0o0o0

From: Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: -poke-  
Hey Jazz, what's the score?

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
Subject: Re -poke-  
um, I lost count. But we are winning. Nana Caroline is like 'killer granny' when it comes to this

0o0o0

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Hey  
You've still got the bungee cords, right?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Hey  
Yup. And 'jack's ordered in more for us to 'borrow'. They'll be here tomorrow

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Hey  
Perfect

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Hey Prowl  
Just had a thought- it'd be a bad thing if the humans got their hands on these message logs, wouldn't it?

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Hey Prowl  
Yes Jazz, it would.


	7. Chapter 7

Communiqué 7

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Tehehe  
It's raining, it's pouring, the old mech is snoring. He bumped his head and went to bed and couldn't get up in the morning.

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Tehehe  
Shut up Sideswipe.

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Killer Granny vs Scary Lady  
And as the competitors roll up for day three, a lil' birdy's telling me that Scary Lady ain't gonna last long XD

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject:  
im crook youre running medical ill be in my office

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re  
What caused it boss? You sure you don't want a check up just to be sure?

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re  
bad run of high grade unless the worlds about to blow up lemme alone!

0o0o0

From: Eject (botonthebleacherstrannet)  
To: Rewind (trivianuttrannet)  
Subject: Score!  
Red Sox won! Gimme

From: Rewind (trivianuttrannet)  
To: Eject (botonthebleacherstrannet)  
Subject: Re Score!  
Alright, fine. 'Angels in the Outfield' is yours.

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Did you hear?  
Ratchet's sick and 'Aid's in charge.

We should do something

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Did you hear?  
Yes, yes we should…

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Did you hear?  
Muahaha…

We really need an evil laugh smiley for this thing

0o0o0

From: AirRaid (skykingtrannet)  
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
Subject?  
It's raining. Do we have to patrol?

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
To: AirRaid (skykingtrannet)  
Subject: Re ?  
Yes. Get going

From: AirRaid (skykingtrannet)  
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re ?  
But it's –raining-

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
To: AirRaid (skykingtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re ?  
Either get your wings in the air yourself or I'll do it for you! With or without the rest of your airframe!

From: AirRaid (skykingtrannet)  
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re?  
Yes sir

From: AirRaid (skykingtrannet)  
To: Slingshot (flieracetrannet)  
Subject: Hide the stuff  
'Bolt's in a real bad mood

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Just was thinking  
We need to do somethin' nice for Nana Caroline for comin' out here and savin' our hides like this

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Just was thinking  
I've got it covered- Devonshire tea and scones at this lovely little café on the edge of town.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Just was thinking  
Cool

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Question  
What is it with Carly and the lady-like stuff at the moment?

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Question  
It's Nana Caroline, she can civilize anyone.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Question  
…..

Monster Truck rally on Saturday, we're taking her there before this becomes permanent.

0o0o0

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Patrol warning  
The east track is washed out and Twotop stream is bursting it's banks, take the alternate route up the ridge

0o0o0

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: HotSpot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Inferno (bigredtrannet)  
Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Subject: Ready status  
All rescue personnel are to assume Alert Status 3 and be prepared for immediate call-out. The rainstorm has already caused two minor slips, more damage may be forthcoming.

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Just before y' head off…  
A couple of things you've gotta do:  
1- Find a cute wahine, a lei, and get a photo of you with both of them  
2- Get a ukulele

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Just before y' head off…  
1- No  
2- No

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Just before y' head off…  
Awww, pleeeasee? ; )

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Just before y' head off…  
No.

0o0o0

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Hot Spot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: Help!  
The twins are here in Medical and I can't get rid of them! Please Hot Spot, I'm at my wit's end!

From: Hot Spot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Re Help!  
Don't worry, big bro's coming to the rescue

From: Hot Spot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Just thought you'd want to know  
Prowl's doing a spot check just before he leaves

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Hot Spot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: Re Just thought you'd want to know  
O.O! Thanks Spot, we owe you one

From: Hot Spot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Re Help!  
There, that ought to keep them busy ; )

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Hot Spot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Help!  
Thankyouthankyouthankyou!

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Killer Granny vs Scary Lady  
And with one last shot it's all over! Scary Lady has bowed out of th' battle for good and Killer Granny reigns supreme! Three cheers for Nana Caroline!

0o0o0

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Well…  
Prowl's off to escape the rain and have fun in the sun for a week. Don't forget to say goodbye to him

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Hey  
Hey Prowl, check your subspace

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Hey  
When I come back I am going to kill you.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Hey  
Y' going to the Cook Islands so I figured I might as well make sure you'll be dressed t' blend in. Trust me, the head stuff, arm and leg stuff and the loin cloth look much better when you wear 'em ; )

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Hey  
…I don't want to know

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: -sigh-  
No Prowl for a week...

I'm bored already. Let's get the bungee cords


	8. Chapter 8

_Many thanks to the lovely people at DevArt who gave me ideas for this little monster :D_

Communiqué 8

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: All addresses except technochicktrannet  
Subject: WHO TOLD!?

0o0o0o0

From: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Security Breach

Because of the breach in protocol regarding Spike and Carly's wedding, a security hazard in itself, there's been a significant jump in perimeter breaches by human journalists! Not even to mention the hundreds of communication attempts that I have been warding off since! This is a major, in-progress attack on our security that must be dealt with at once! With Prowl gone we are already at risk, not to mention the severe security risk of having a high ranking officer out on his own in a remote location and without even a hint of a personal guard or any other precaution like that is simply irre -message length exceeded-

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Re Security Breach

True, this is something that needs to be dealt with before it gets out of hand. Suggestions?

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Security Breach

Easy. We declare we ain't to be contacted by civilians for a while and the five miles around th' base are a no-go zone, post warnings, all legally airtight, that anyone found in there is gonna have their vehicles impounded an' recording equipment confiscated, no responsibility for any damage taken in th' process.

Then we get th' Dinobots t' do the impounding an' confiscating, in whatever way they see fit.

-That- 'ill scare 'em off if nothing else will

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Security Breach

Alright we'll go for it, it's better than our current measures and can be stood down easily enough once the matter is over. Jazz, Ironhide, Wheeljack make it happen. Red, see if you can track down this leak.

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Heh

I like the way you think

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re Heh

Hehehe, I aim to please boss-mech

0o0o0

From: Bluestreak (blubottrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Twostroke

Have you seen her anywhere? I've been looking for ages and she's come in at night I know that but I can't find her anywhere during the day and it's really starting to worry me and I'd really really really like to have her back again.

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: Bluestreak (blubottrannet)  
Subject: Re Twostroke

Sorry Blue, I haven't seen her. Why don't you try ask Jazz or Smokescreen?

From: Bluestreak (blubottrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Twostroke

Ok, thanks

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Muahaha

First one's set up

0o0o0

From: Tracks (killercorvettetrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject!&#!!

SOMEONE GET ME DOWN FROM THIS THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: SCORE!

We got Tracks! Ooooh this is just too great! XD!

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re SCORE!

Yes! C'mon, let's get the next ones ready!

0o0o0

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Was wondering

Would you like us to handle transport on the day?

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re Was wondering

That'd be great Optimus, thank you!

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Was wondering

Our pleasure Spike

0o0o0

From: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
To: All Addresses  
Subject: Security Warning

Suspicious devices have been discovered in corridors 3A, 2A and 6D. One has been tripped in corridor 5B. All personnel are to proceed with caution and report any further suspicious activity.

0o0o0

From: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
To: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Subject:

Stockbroker just called me, after that last battle in Maine shares in fisheries are plummeting, we couldn't give them away if we wanted to.

From: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
To: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
Subject: Re

Bother.

0o0o0

From: Blades (chopperbottrannet)  
To: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
Subject: Hey Seekerclone!  
You, me, basketball court. After duty.

From: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
To: Blades (chopperbottrannet)  
Subject: Re Hey Seekerclone!

I'll be there skytrash, prepare to be humiliated.

From: Blades (chopperbottrannet)  
To: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Hey Seekerclone!

You and what army runt?

From: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
To: Blades (chopperbottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Hey Seekerclone!

I don't need an army to vape your sorry tailfins. Oh yeah that's right, you don't even  
-have- tailfins

From: Blades (chopperbottrannet)  
To: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Hey Seekerclone!

You're gonna be reprocessing those words through your tailpipe after I'm done with you

From: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
To: Blades (chopperbottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Hey Seekerclone!

Oh yeah? Prove it whirlybird

From: Blades (chopperbottrannet)  
To: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Hey Seekerclone!

I will. Prepare to lose wingling

0o0o0

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: All Addresses excluding autobotsquishytrannet, technochicktrannet  
Subject: Volunteers?

Anyone want to help with the transport to the wedding?

From: Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re Volunteers?

I'll take Spike and Sparkplug!

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re Volunteers?

Bridesmaids!

From: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re Volunteers?

I call groomsmen

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re Volunteers?

Bride!

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re Volunteers?

Dibs on Carly!

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject:

Ha! First come first served!

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re

Aww, c'mon Sunny, please?

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re

Nope.

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Excuse me but..

..you do realise that taking the bride means you take the mother of the bride too, right? Carly's father is dead so it will be just the two of them. I trust you can sort this out yourselves.

From: Sunstreaker  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject:

I've changed my mind, you can take them

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re

Nuh uh, like you said Sunny-boy, first come first served

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re

It's alright, you take them, you wanted to

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re

My friend, I'd sooner make a single-mech attack on th' 'Con base wearing a pink Energizer Bunny suit an' singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star than have Scary Lady that close to me again.

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject:

Not. One. Slagging. Word.

0o0o0

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Slag (slagtrannet)  
Subject: cat

You Slag give cat back to him Bluestreak now

From: Slag (slagtrannet)  
To: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
Subject: Re cat

But me Slag like cat

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Slag (slagtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re cat

Her cat not your cat. Give back

From: Slag (slagtrannet)  
To: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re cat

Ok

0o0o0

From: Perceptor (perceptortrannet)  
To: All Addresses  
Subject: Help!

If someone could help me down I would be most grateful. It appears some of the missing bungy cords have turned up.

0o0o0

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Incoming

Just spotted Blades and Air Raid. ETA five minutes after they've stopped pummeling each other

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Re Incoming

Thanks for the warning 'jack.

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: le sigh

I'm adopted, aren't I? Please tell me I'm adopted.

From: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Re le sigh

Yes First Aid, you're adopted.

0o0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Idea

Catapults.

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Idea

Catapults?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Idea

-nod- Catapults. Or slingshots. Depending on what ammo we beg/borrow/steal/kidnap

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Idea

Ok

0o0o0

From: Anon1  
To: Anon2  
Subject:

Have they figured out who was the leak yet?

From: Anon2  
To: Anon1  
Subject: Re

Nope. Keep listening.

0o0o0

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Update  
Attachment: SituationReport.doc

Have fun

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: Re Update  
Attachment received

Thank you

0o0o0

From: Hoist (hoisttrannet)  
To: All Addresses  
Subject:?  
Has anyone seen my spare paint cans?


	9. Chapter 9

_Quick note: This chapter is dedicated to DesertCat, one of those great friends that are sadly few and far between. Happy birthday chicka! ; P_

Communiqué 9

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Tracks (killercorvettetrannet)  
Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
Subject: Stag Night!  
T'night's the night! Meet at the main entrance at 9pm!

0o0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject:  
Go check the storeroom for more 14 gage

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re  
Already checked, we're fresh out. I've already added it to the requisition list

0o0o0o0

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: Tonight  
Make sure nobody kills anyone, ok?

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re Tonight  
You sure? Could be a way of getting rid of a couple of th' more troublesome ones

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Tonight  
Tempting, but no. We still need them.

Besides, Ratchet already has staked a claim on the twins.

0o0o0o0

From: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
To: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
Subject: Good news  
Your gamble paid off, stocks in iron mining have risen by 78 cents

From: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
To: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Subject: Re Good news  
I told you so

0o0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject?  
Hey Sunny, you know how Prowl's coming back today, right?

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re ?  
Yeah?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re ?  
And you know how humans go to places like that and come back with a tan, right?

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re ?  
Yeah?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re ?  
And you know how we don't tan, right?

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re ?  
What the hell are you getting at Sides?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re ?  
Weeeellll…seeing how we've still got all these bungy cords and all this lovely paint, I was thinking we could give Prowl a bit of a hand with his tan.

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Re ?

……

-evil grin-

0o0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: HotSpot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: Medical checkups  
Get them in here. Now.

From: HotSpot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re Medical checkups  
Yes sir

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Hey lil' lady  
Was just getting t' wondering if there was anything a classy gal like you wanted in particular for your Hen's Night?

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Hey lil' lady  
Nothing I can think of right now…

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Hey lil' lady  
Ok, you start thinkin' an' I'll get back t' ya tomorrow

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Hey lil' lady  
Before or after you get over the hangover? ; )

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Hey lil' lady  
Heh, the Jazz-man don't get hangovers : P

0o0o0

From: Beachcomber (rocksbottrannet)  
To: Hoist (hoisttrannet)  
Subject: Can I ask you something?  
Like…what in the stars are you supposed to give as a wedding present?

From: Hoist (hoisttrannet)  
To: Beachcomber (rocksbottrannet)  
Subject: Re Can I ask you something?  
I'm not actually sure…hm…try ask Jazz, he might know

From: Beachcomber (rocksbottrannet)  
To: Hoist (hoisttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Can I ask you something?  
Ok, thanks man

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject:  
Get your friggin' brothers in here for their medical exam!

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re  
But boss, if they don't listen to you why on earth would they listen to me?

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re  
Hrm…good point

0o0o0o0

From: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
To: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
Subject:  
What you getting Spike and Carly for wedding present?

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
Subject: Re  
Hrr…me Grimlock do not know. What you Swoop getting them?

From: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
To: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re  
Me Swoop don't know. Maybe me Swoop will give them some wings us Dinobots took from them Seekers. Him Spike always say he liked them.

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re  
That good idea.

0o0o0o0

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
To: Slingshot (seekerhuntertrannet)  
Skydive  
Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
Fireflight (wingnuttrannet)  
Subject: Alright  
What are we getting Spike and Carly as a wedding present?

From: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
Slingshot (seekerhuntertrannet)  
Skydive (furballtrannet)  
Fireflight (wingnuttrannet)  
Subject: Re Alright  
Do we have to?

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
To: Slingshot (seekerhuntertrannet)  
Skydive (furballtrannet)  
Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
Fireflight (wingnuttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Alright  
Yes. And it can't be anything out of those magazines that –somebody- borrowed from the twins.

From: Slingshot (seekerhuntertrannet)  
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
Skydive (furballtrannet)  
Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
Fireflight (wingnuttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Alright  
That wasn't me!

0o0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject:  
Attachment: Catchingthelittlefraggers.doc

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re  
Attachment received

You sure this will work?

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re  
When one is serving bait, presentation is everything. -evil grin-

0o0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Hey dude!  
Welcome back from the vacay! As you can see, everythin's still standing Didja have fun? Get any pictures? Find a cute vahine? Was she the one who conned you into getting the tattoo?

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Hey dude!  
No comment.

0o0o0

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Ready?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Ready?  
Yup. Just say the word

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Fire!

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: BULLSEYE!

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re BULLSEYE!  
ROTFLMAO!!!!

0o0o0o0

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Apologies  
I'm going to be late. I have to kill someone.

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Apologies  
Have fun.

0o0o0o0

From: Blades (chopperbottrannet)  
To: Streetwise (trekkerbottrannet)  
Subject: Huh?  
Are you sure this is the right place?

From: Streetwise (trekkerbottrannet)  
To: Blades (chopperbottrannet)  
Subject: Re Huh?  
Yeah, it should be

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Blades (chopperbottrannet)  
Streetwise (trekkerbottrannet)  
Subject: Are you going to come quietly or do I have to use earplugs?

From: Streetwise (trekkerbottrannet)  
To: Blades (chopperbottrannet)  
Subject: AMBUSH!!!!!!  
RUN AWAY!!!!!

0o0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Tracks (killercorvettetrannet)  
Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
Subject: It's time!  
Ok boys, let's roll out!

0o0o0o0

Administrator: Internal system log  
Subject: Incoming phone call  
Action: routed to private line- recipient Carly  
Transcript: Begin recording at 0354 hours

"…who is it?"  
"Uh, hey love, it's Spike."  
"…hey…"  
"Look, um, could you do me a favour and get in touch with Prime for me?"  
"..why? And where are you calling from anyway?"  
(indistinct)  
"What was that?"  
"….the police station."  
"……what?"  
(pause)  
"…so yeah, if you could call Prime and…"  
"Who else is there?"  
"Um…me, a few guys from the rig, some of the bots…"  
"And why are you there?"  
"Um…disturbing the peace, I think, and some other stuff…"  
"Spike, don't even think that this is over. As soon as Prime's done chewing you out you and me are going to have a very long talk."  
"….yes dear."

Transcript ended at 0401 hours.


	10. Chapter 10

_Quick note to all my readers: I am really, really really bad at returning reviews, please forgive me_

Communiqué 10

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: How's the hangover?

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re How's the hangover?  
It's just fine 'lil lady…. **-**crawls away to die-

0o0o0

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject:  
What's this story about you getting a tattoo Prowl?

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re  
Something I do not wish to talk about.

0o0o0

From: HotSpot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
Subject: Question  
What's your lot getting Spike and Carly?

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
To: HotSpot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: Re Question  
Not sure really. I'm just going to turn them loose in the local mall and see what happens. I've never had to buy a wedding present before.

From: HotSpot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Question  
Me either. I'm thinking something practical. I know 'Aid's putting together some kind of tool kit, but what to get Carly has us all stumped.

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
To: HotSpot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Question  
Well…she's a girl right? And girls like things that are pink and all frilly and lacy and pretty and stuff, right? So either that or something she can use. Like frying pans or a cook book or something.

From: HotSpot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Question  
True. Good idea 'bolt, thanks.

0o0o0o0

From: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Operations plan for Spike and Carly's wedding and reception  
Attachment: Eventplan.doc

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Subject: Re Operations plan for Spike and Carly's wedding and reception  
Attachment received  
Thank you Red Alert, but they haven't been able to finalize a location yet.

From: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Operations plan for Spike and Carly's wedding and reception  
One must always be prepared for contingencies Prime, this is the perfect opportunity for the Decepticons to deal a fatal blow to not only multiple members of the unit here but also to civilians present at the ceremony! There is a plan there for every possible site that Spike and Carly may choose.

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Operations plan for Spike and Carly's wedding and reception  
Thank you Red Alert, I'm sure they will appreciate every precautionary measure that you have thought out.

0o0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject:?  
You, a girl and a tattoo, true?

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject?  
No comment

0o0o0

From: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
To: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Subject: Broker called  
The agricultural sector is looking promising. Thoughts?

From: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
To: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
Subject: Re Broker called  
Hm…too risky. One Insecticon attack, or even an Insecticon scare and shares will hit rock bottom.  
BTW, what are you getting Spike and Carly?

From: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
To: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Broker called  
Jazz and I are chipping in to get them a holiday cruise. You?

From: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
To: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Broker called  
A set of lead crystal goblets, champagne flutes, shot glasses, whiskey glasses and port glasses.

From: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
To: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Broker called  
Very nice.

0o0o0

From: Brawn (strongbottrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: So  
What's the story about this cute vahine and the tattoo?

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Brawn (strongbottrannet)  
Subject: Re So  
None of your business.

0o0o0

From: Cosmos (autoufotrannet)  
To: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
Subject: Was wondering  
Have you heard anything about a weird noise and some lights over Kansas?

From: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
To: Cosmos (autoufotrannet)  
Subject: Re Was wondering  
No, why?

From: Cosmos (autoufotrannet)  
To: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Was wondering  
Oh, nothing.

0o0o0

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Hey boss  
Exactly how would a transformer get a tattoo?

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Re Hey boss  
There's a couple of ways. Why?

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Hey boss  
Because Prowl got one.

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Hey boss  
…are you serious?

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Hey boss  
Yes boss

0o0o0

From: Fireflight (wingnuttrannet)  
To: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
Subject?  
I'm stuck on six across. Six letters and Australian slang for a police informer

From: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
To: Fireflight (wingnuttrannet)  
Subject: Re ?  
Fizgig

0o0o0

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Forgiven me yet?  
Attachment: ImsorryImsorryImsorry.doc

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Forgiven me yet?  
Attachment received  
No.

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Coast is clear  
Let's go!

0o0o0

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Subject: Any leads?  
How's the investigation into who leaked the wedding news going?

From: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re Any leads?  
Nothing as of yet. I have asked several specialists to aid me in the search but so far they have covered their tracks well.

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Any leads?  
Very well, keep me posted.

0o0o0

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: Hey Ironhide  
I was wondering, since my dad is dead and all, would you like to walk me down the aisle at the wedding and take his place at the ceremony?

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Hey Ironhide  
Aww shucks. Carly I would be honored to.

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Hey Ironhide  
-grin- Thank you Ironhide!

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Hey Ironhide  
Heh, you're very welcome little lady.

0o0o0

From: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
To: Fireflight (wingnuttrannet)  
Subject?  
Three across, 29 letters, estimating something as worthless. Any ideas?

From: Fireflight (wingnuttrannet)  
To: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
Subject: Re ?  
Floccinaucinihilipilification

0o0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Tattoo  
Explain.

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re Tattoo  
No.

0o0o0

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Please love…  
Have you forgiven me now?

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Please love...  
Bring me a coffee and I'll think about it. I'm in the lab with 'jack and Percy trying to do this stupid seating plan. Prowl's in hiding, otherwise I'd ask him.

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Please love…  
I'm on my way. Where are you putting Sca…I mean your mother?

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Please love…  
In the perfect world, next to that creepy uncle from your side of the family. Since I can't, I'm trying to put her where she'll do the least damage.

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Please love…  
Stick her next to Killer Granny.

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Please love…  
Do you want to start a war?

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Please love…  
Ah.

0o0o0

From: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
To: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
Subject: Security Breach!  
A female reporter and one cameraman have crossed the boundary near marker 48!

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Subject: Security Breach!  
Us Dinobots clobber!

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Ok then  
Either you come out of that office and let me check that tattoo for you or I guarantee I'll be treating you for a major rust infection within a month

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re Ok then  
Will it be sufficient if I tell you how I got it first?

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Ok then  
We'll see once you've told me.

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Ok then  
I helped some people on one of the smaller islands. They adopted me into the tribe. The tattoo is a tribal tattoo.

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Ok then  
Why do I get the feeling you're not telling me something?

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Ok then  
I wouldn't know. Feelings are not my strong point.

0o0o0

From: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
To: Eject (botonthebleacherstrannet)  
Rewind (trivianuttrannet)  
Subject: Well well well…  
I knew someone had leaked the news about the wedding. I didn't suspect it was you. Now, what to do with this information…

From: Eject (botonthebleacherstrannet)  
To: Rewind (trivianuttrannet)  
Subject: HIDE!!!

0o0o0

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Subject:  
Her April-lady from Channel 6 scared away. Him Slag broke camera.

From: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
To: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
Subject: Re  
Good work Grimlock, well done.

From: Sludge (sludgetrannet)  
To: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
Subject:  
Should you Grimlock tell him Red Alert about other human in funny armour and green things?

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Sludge (sludgetrannet)  
Subject: Re  
No. Him Red Alert's head break easy. Us Dinobots tell him that, him Wheeljack might not be able to fix it.


	11. Chapter 11

Communique 11 

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject?  
Attachment: idea.doc

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re ?  
No.

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re ?  
Awwwwwwww, pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaassssssseeeeeee

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re ?  
No. No way in the Pit, no way in hell no no no no and for the last frigging time N.O.

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re ?  
And stop trying the kicked turbo-pup thing. You look like an idiot.

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re ?  
But, but, but….it's such a good idea!

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re ?  
Do you really want me to come over there and re-arrange that sorry excuse for a face you have?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re ?  
But Sunny, it's not illegal or anything. Nobody can get us into trouble for it. It's just some harmless fun for once. Please?

From: Sunstreaker  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Re ?  
…

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Re ?  
Ok, ok, ok, fine. I'll do it.

You do know how pathetic you look, right?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Re Re Re ?  
Thanks bro!

And yup, I know ; )

0o0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: So…  
What 'zactly did happen on that island o' yours?

0o0o0

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Hey babe  
How'd the meeting with Red go?

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Hey babe  
Kill me now. I can't believe there are so many possible threats in a simple –convention- centre! Let alone a hall, or a warehouse, or an open park, or a hall, or an old drive in cinema, or an empty lot, or even by a lake!

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Hey babe  
…did he suggest any places we can have the wedding?

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Hey babe  
Well, he was suggesting we have it inside the Ark itself.

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Hey babe  
No way babe. I know how much you wanted an outdoors wedding and you're gonna get one. What about that little clearing in the forest just south of the base? Y'know, the one where we had our first picnic. I've been calling the caterers and I think I've got one that can go anywhere and hasn't been scared off yet by Red's security checks. We can hire chairs and get an awning or a canopy or something, and have the photos there and in a couple of places around the area. I've already got a minister lined up, and there's a few photographers left in the phone book that I can still try. All else fails, we can get Hound to take the pictures. There, problem solved.

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Hey babe  
Spike, you're such a hero when you get going on something ; )

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Hey babe  
Heh, I do my best babe

0o0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject:  
Get in here for a friggin' check on that tattoo now!

0o0o0o0

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject:  
Me Grimlock need help.

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
Subject: Re  
Ok, what is it?

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re  
Me Grimlock want to give him Spike and her Carly weapons for wedding present. But me Grimlock not have any small enough to give.

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re  
I'll be happy to help Grimlock, just bring down some weapons that you'd like to give them and I'll help you make smaller copies of them.

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re  
Thank you Wheeljack! Me Grimlock come down right away!

0o0o0o0

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re  
My apologies, but I cannot spare the time right now.

0o0o0

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject?  
Is it just me or is there something kinda strange about Sunstreaker today?

From: Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: Re ?  
It is not just you…

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Proooowlll  
Tell me, please? Pretty please?

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
Subject:  
Go find Prowl and haul him into Medical, now!

From: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re  
Okay

From: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re Re  
Me Swoop not able to find him, anywhere.

0o0o0

From: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
Subject: Huh?  
…was that Sideswipe or Sunstreaker that just walked past?

From: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
To: Hotspot (gentlegianttrannet)  
Subject: Re Huh?  
By bodytype it would be Sunstreaker, by personality Sideswipe…I think.

0o0o0

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Uhh…sir?  
I um, I think it might be a very very very good idea if you were to make the time come in to get that tattoo checked, um, Ratchet's not exactly pleased that you can't.

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Uhh…sir?  
I see. Unfortunatly, he will just have to wait.

0o0o0

From: Streetwise (trekkerbottrannet)  
To: All Addresses  
Subject: Warning  
Majorieann Pass is a no-go, that last cloudburst loosened up one too many trees.

From: Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Streetwise (trekkerbottrannet)  
Subject: Re Warning  
Thank you Streetwise, I'll have a crew clear it by nightfall

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Heh  
By that you mean the first five unlucky fraggers to misbehave, right?

From: Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: Re Heh  
Perhaps.

0o0o0

From: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
To: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
Subject: Broker called  
He said that the authorities are starting to get somewhat suspicious about our activities.

From: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
To: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Subject: Re Broker called  
Hm.. has the tax department figured out how to handle our situation yet?

From: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
To: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Broker called  
No, not yet. Our residency status is still in question.

From: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
To: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Broker called  
Let me sniff around a bit, I might be able to try something.

0o0o0

From: Bluestreak (blubottrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Ummm…help?  
I'm really sorry to bother you Hound but I've lost my present for Spike and Carly. I'd put it in a very safe place so I wouldn't lose it and Red wouldn't freak out and confiscate it or anything, not that I think he would, it doesn't look like it'd be illegal or anything but anyway I was going to take it out to wrap it but I can't find it and I really really need your help.

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: Bluestreak (blubottrannet)  
Subject: Re Ummm…help?  
Heh, no worries Blue, I'll be over as soon as I've finished helping Windcharger with making his present

From: Bluestreak (blubottrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Ummm…help?  
Cool, thanks Hound I really really really appreciate this. What's 'charger going to give them?

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: Bluestreak (blubottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Ummm…help?  
I'm not entirely sure at the moment. There's a lot of stuff here and I don't know what all of it is.

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Hey Prowl  
-pokepokepoke- C'mon man, what happened out there? Y' can't ignore me forever you know.

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Hey Prowl  
I can and I will.

0o0o0

From: Skydive (furballtrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: RED ALERT  
Scary Lady on approach!

0o0o0

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: …  
….fraggit…

What's she doing here this time?

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re…  
You said it and I have no clue. Any chance we can say we're not home?

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re …  
It'll never work. Mother-radar. I tried something like that exactly once when Mom was still around and got grounded for a month.

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Oi! You!  
Zambuck! Go find Prowl, now!

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re Oi! You!  
Yes boss.

0o0o0

From: Cosmos (autoufotrannet)  
To: Gears (grumpandgroantrannet)  
Subject: Huh?  
…Is it just me or did Sideswipe just answer to the name Sunstreaker?

From: Gears (grumpandgroantrannet)  
To: Cosmos (autoufotrannet)  
Subject: Re Huh?  
It's not just you…

0o0o0

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re Oi! You!  
Sorry boss, I can't find him.

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Oi! You!  
&#$!!!

0o0o0

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: -headdesk-  
…I don't think I can take this any more… First she tries to organize the wedding, now she turns up here with…that…that…-thing-

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re –headdesk-  
I know what you mean babe. I mean, sure, it's a nice wedding dress, but I think you'll smother in all that stuff.

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re –headdesk-  
Dad just suggested we elope. Skydive owes me one, so he can fly us to Las Vegas and we can be back and safely married before dinner.

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re -headdesk-  
Tempting…very very tempting at this point...oh so tempting…

0o0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: -pokepoke-  
C'mon, tell me Prowl. You know I won't stop nagging 'till you do ; )

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re –pokepoke-  
Jazz! Will you just let it be? Please?

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re -pokepoke-  
Somebody's embarrassed!

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re –pokepoke-  
I am not embarrassed!

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re -pokepoke-  
Prowl man, you are so embarrassed. Don't deny it.

0o0o0

From: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
To: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
Subject: Report  
What is the status of the integrity of the security net around the Ark? How many media personnel have gotten through?

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Subject: Re Report  
Security net fine. Us Dinobots are bored. No more reporters are coming.

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: ROTFL!  
Didja see the looks on their faces! Toldja it was a good idea. C'mon, admit it bro, it was a good idea XD

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re ROTFL!  
I admit nothing.

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re ROTFL!  
D : Hey! That's my line!

0o0o0

From: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
To: Blades (chopperbottrannet)  
Subject: Hey chopperface!  
I never figured you for a pansy, -volunteering- to go on a PR to the children's hospital

From: Blades (chopperbottrannet)  
To: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
Subject: Re Hey chopperface!  
Yeah? Well unlike some people I can get my head out of my afterburners long enough to make some sick children's day a little better.

From: Slingshot (seekerhuntertrannet)  
To: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
Subject:  
Oohh BURN!

From: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
To: Slingshot (seekerhuntertrannet)  
Subject: Re  
Shut up.

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: pleasepleaseplease  
Can you tell me please?

Btw- the camouflage netting's slipped. Just thought I should mention that ;)

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re pleasepleaseplease  
Alright FINE! First I must have your word that this will go no further than you.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re pleasepleaseplease  
Scout's honour :D

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re pleasepleaseplease  
What happened was that I was on one of the smaller and more remote islands. It got hit by the tail end of a tropical cyclone and there was a mud slide. I helped rescue several villagers and rebuild the village. The chief wanted to adopt me into the tribe as a son in law. I convinced him that an alternative would work better and had to be tattooed instead to show it.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re pleasepleaseplease  
What was the alternative?

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re pleasepleaseplease  
He made me one of his sons. I am currently ninth in line for the cheiftanship.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re pleasepleaseplease  
Ha! I toldja the stuff I gave you before you left would come in handy!

And you did find a cute wahine after all, right? ; )

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Re pleasepleaseplease  
…


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Ok, it's the 'con's turn now. Yes I know this is quite late, but ffnet throws a fit each time I upload these things

Decepticon Communiqué

From: Starscream (skykingnemesisnet)  
To: Skywarp (blinkandyoumissmenemesisnet)  
Thundercracker (rollingthundernemesisnet)  
Subject: One of you get out here!  
It's time for patrol.

From: Skywarp (blinkandyoumissmenemesisnet)  
To: Thundercracker (rollingthundernemesisnet)  
Subject: Oi!  
Ack, patrol in the rain. Your turn.

From: Thundercracker (rollingthundernemesisnet)  
To: Skywarp (blinkandyoumissmenemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Oi!  
No it's not, it's your turn.

From: Skywarp (blinkandyoumissmenemesisnet)  
To: Thundercracker (rollingthundernemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re Oi!  
I did it last time! It's your fragging turn!

From: Thundercracker (rollingthundernemesisnet)  
To: Skywarp (blinkandyoumissmenemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Oi!  
Oh yeah? Make me.

From: Skywarp (blinkandyoumissmenemesisnet)  
To: Thundercracker (rollingthundernemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Oi!  
I will!

From: Ramjet (bot-killernemesisnet)  
To: Skywarp (blinkandyoumissmenemesisnet)  
Thundercracker (rollingthundernemesisnet)  
Subject: Hey!  
Keep it down over there! Some of us are trying to get some recharge!

0o0o0

From: Hook (constructiconhooknemesisnet)  
To: Scrapper (constructiconscrappernemesisnet)  
Subject: The plans are ready for inspection  
Though I doubt there are any faults it is prudent to have a second set of optics look it over before it is presented to Megatron.

From: Scrapper (constructiconscrappernemesisnet)  
To: Hook (constructiconhooknemesisnet)  
Subject: Re The plans are ready for inspection  
Indeed it is. I will be down shortly. Have you been able to draw up a requisition list for this latest mega-weapon?

From: Hook (constructiconhooknemesisnet)  
To: Scrapper (constructiconscrappernemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re The plans are ready for inspection  
Yes, and before you feel the need to ask, yes I have included the list of secondary but no less important items that we would not otherwise be able to get.

From: Scrapper (constructiconscrappernemesisnet)  
To: Hook (constructiconhooknemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re Re The plans are ready for inspection  
Good. The efficiency of getting these components this way almost makes up for the inconvenience of having to design a new weapon first.

From: Hook (constructiconhooknemesisnet)  
To: Scrapper (constructiconscrappernemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re The plans are ready for inspection  
I quite agree.

0o0o0

From: Frenzy (frenzynemesisnet)  
To: Rumble (rumblenemesisnet)  
Subject:  
Hey! Get back on your side!

From: Rumble (rumblenemesisnet)  
To: Frenzy (frenzynemesisnet)  
Subject: Re  
I'm not on your side! You're on my side!

From: Frenzy (frenzynemesisnet)  
To: Rumble (rumblenemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re  
No I'm not, you are!

From: Rumble (rumblenemesisnet)  
To: Frenzy (frenzynemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re Re  
You are, move it!

From: Frenzy (frenzynemesisnet)  
To: Rumble (rumblenemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re  
Hey! What was that for?!

From: Rumble (frenzynemesisnet)  
To: Frenzy (rumblenemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re  
To get you back on your side.

From: Frenzy (rumblenemesisnet)  
To: Rumble (frenzynemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re  
Oh yeah? Let's see how you like it!

From: Lazerbeak (no1birdnemesisnet)  
To: Rumble (frenzynemesisnet)  
Frenzy (rumblenemesisnet)  
Subject: Stop that!  
It's already cramped enough as it is in here without you two adding to it

From: Rumble (rumblenemesisnet)  
To: Laserbeak (no1birdnemesisnet)  
Subject: You stay outta this!

From: Frenzy (frenzynemesisnet)  
To: Laserbeak (no1birdnemesisnet)  
Subject: Yeah, what he said!

From: Soundwave  
To: Frenzy (frenzynemesisnet)  
Rumble (rumblenemesisnet)  
Laserbeak (no1birdnemesisnet)  
Subject: Stop bickering immediately.

From: Vortex (reapthewirlwindnemesisnet)  
To: Swindle (moneymechnemesisnet)  
Subject: Hey..  
Was it just me or was Soundwave swaying on his feet like he was overcharged or something? You think he is?

From: Swindle (moneymechnemesisnet)  
To: Vortex (reapthewirlwindnemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Hey..  
You idiot! He can hear us! Oh slaggit, he's looking over here, move it!

0o0o0

From: Astrotrain (astrotrainnemesisnet)  
To: Blitzwing (boomnemesisnet)  
Subject: Eh?  
What's got you so happy?

From: Blitzwing (boomnemesisnet)  
To: Astrotrain (astrotrainnemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Eh?  
Hehehe, put three tallymarks by my name. I just took down both twins and that Special Ops. They'll be picking up the pieces for –weeks-

From: Astrotrain (astrotrainnemesisnet)  
To: Blitzwing (boomnemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re Eh?  
Terminated?

From: Blitzwing (boomnemesisnet)  
To: Astrotrain (astrotrainnemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Eh?  
Nah, wasn't that lucky. But they'll be out of battle for weeks

From: Astrotrain (astrotrainnemesisnet)  
To: Blitzwing (boomnemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Eh?  
Heh, perfect reason to drink anyway.

From: Blitzwing (boomnemesisnet)  
To: Astrotrain (astrotrainnemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Eh?  
My thoughts exactly

0o0o0

From: Onslaught (comabticononslaughtnemesisnet)  
To: Blast Off (opticintheskynemesisnet)  
Subject: Report  
Any activity on the West Coast?

From: Blast Off (opticintheskynemesisnet)  
To: Onslaught (comabticononslaughtnemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Report  
The only thing even remotely suspicious was a dark 1984 Trans-Am tearing down the Interstate like a cyber wolf with it's tail on fire. No Autobot movement and a fragging lot of scrap floating around up here.

From: Onslaught (comabticononslaughtnemesisnet)  
To: Blast Off (opticintheskynemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re Report  
Very well. Move onto the next quadrant.

0o0o0

From: Buzzsaw (killerbirdienemesisnet)  
To: Ravage (blackcatnemesisnet)  
Subject:  
…what in the stars are you doing?

From: Ravage (blackcatnemesisnet)  
To: Buzzsaw (killerbirdienemesisnet)  
Subject: Re  
Hunting, what do you expect? It is my nature after all.

From: Buzzsaw (killerbirdienemesisnet)  
To: Ravage (blackcatnemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re  
Well could you save it until we get away from the Autobot base? You saw how those three Blitzwing hit looked. They won't be treating either of us as nicely as last time if they catch us.

From: Ravage (blackcatnemesisnet)  
To: Buzzsaw (killerbirdienemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re Re  
I do not get caught, you know that.

From: Buzzsaw (killerbirdienemesisnet)  
To: Ravage (blackcatnemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re  
Oh yeah? What about that first infiltration after we woke up?

From: Ravage (blackcatnemesisnet)  
To: Buzzsaw (killerbirdienemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re  
…those were special circumstances.

From: Buzzsaw (killerbirdienemesisnet)  
To: Ravage (blackcatnemesisnet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re  
Pardon me for borrowing Rumble's phrase, but, 'yeah, right.'


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: And here's what was going on in the 'bot camp while the 'cons were chatting. Again, I know it's late but hates the format of these things

Communiqué 12

From: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Hey  
Did you see what happened this morning?

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
Subject: Re Hey  
Heh. Who didn't? I feel kinda sorry for him but he had it coming, baiting Ratchet like that.

From: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Hey  
Where was Prowl hiding all this time anyway?

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Hey  
Up in one of the sniper nests on the mountain. He had sensor-dampening tarps and camouflage netting all over him. No wonder Ratchet couldn't find him

From: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Hey  
Who found him anyway?

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Hey  
Jazz did. Ratchet somehow got wind of it and dragged it out of him.

From: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Hey  
Ouch

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Re Hey  
Yup

0o0o0

From: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
To: Bluestreak (blubottrannet)  
Subject: BLUESTREAK!  
GET THIS FELINE OUT OF MY SECURITY HUB NOW!!!

From: Bluestreak (blubottrannet)  
To: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Subject: Re BLUESTREAK!  
Yes sir, I'll get her right away I'll be right there and I'll get her and I'll make sure she'll stay out of there, I promise!

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Subject: For th' love of…  
Aw can it Red. She's just trying to make friends

From: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: Re For th' love of…  
Make friends?! That..that..sh--- -message interrupted- sender signal lost-

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Here we go again  
Ironhide just bellowed. Red's fried himself again.

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Re Here we go again  
..oh joy.

0o0o0

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: -nudge-  
Hey Spike, how's the honeymoon planning going?

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re –nudge-  
Great! Pack your swimsuit babe, we're going to Rarotonga!

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re -nudge-  
Rarotonga? That's great! But I thought it was all booked out, how'd you manage it?

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re –nudge-  
Don't thank me, thank Prowl. He said he knew a couple of people down there who could get us a top class room at one of the top resorts.

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re -nudge-  
That's so sweet! I'll have to pick up a present or something for him.

0o0o0

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: uhh..boss?  
Um…I know he got you irritated and all, but isn't dragging the 2IC through the Ark to Medical and strapping him down to the central repair berth over an engraving on his upper arm a little excessive?

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Re uhh..boss?  
He fragging well deserves it. He's not in any pain. Leave him.

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re Re uhh..boss?  
May I at least remove the gag? It looks uncomfortable to say the least.

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re uhh..boss?  
NO.

0o0o0

From: Skydive (furballtrannet)  
To: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
Subject?  
Whatcha doing?

From: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
To: Skydive (furballtrannet)  
Subject: Re ?  
Wrapping Spike and Carly's present

From: Skydive (furballtrannet)  
To: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re ?  
Can I see?

From: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
To: Skydive (furballtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re ?  
No

From: Skydive (furballtrannet)  
To: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re ?  
C'mon, lemme see!

From: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
To: Skydive (furballtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re ?  
Paws off, you'll break it!

From: Skydive (furballtrannet)  
To: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re ?  
No I won't! Gimme!

From: Skydive(furballtrannet)  
To: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re ?  
...oops

From: Air Raid (skykingtrannet)  
To: Skydive (furballtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Re Re ?  
GET BACK HERE!

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: So…  
What's happening for your hen's night, chicka?

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re So…  
For starters, me and the girls are headed out to this new club, the Desert Cat.

And no, you can't come Jazz.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re So…  
Awwwwww, but Carly! It's a party, right? An' the best parties are the ones where the Jazz-man's at!

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re So…  
Sorry Jazz, but this is hen's night, girls only.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re So…  
…I'm gonna go sulk now.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Blaster (bebopbottrannet)  
Subject: -sulk-  
Gimme Metallica and Switchfoot. I need to sulk.

From: Blaster (bebopbottrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re –sulk-  
Gotcha

0o0o0

From: Omega Supreme (omega1trannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Request  
Assistance requested.

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Omega Supreme (omega1trannet)  
Subject: Re Request  
In what way, Omega?

From: Omega Supreme (omega1trannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Request  
Advice on fulfilment of the human custom for friends to give presents to the couple on their wedding day. I am unsure of what to give.

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Omega Supreme (omega1trannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Request  
I'll come out and give you a hand.

From: Omega Supreme (omega1trannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Request  
Assistance appreciated.

0o0o0

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Arg  
Mom's got me cornered on the 'phone.

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Arg  
…is she still going on about the dress?

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Arg  
Yup. But not for much longer. Poofy froufrou dress is going bye-bye.

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Blowtorch  
Got one?

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Blowtorch  
Yup.

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (sideswipetaccommnet)  
To: All Addresses on taccommnet  
Subject: Autobot down!  
Blitzwing's got us pinned, patrol route 3 at grid reference 357-663. Sunny's down, need cas-evac now! Other hostiles unknown.

From: Jazz (jazztaccommnet)  
To: Designated OOD (primetaccommnet)  
Subject: Re Autobot down!  
I'm on Joanna Ridge, altering course to assist.

From: Designated OOD (primetaccommnet)  
To: Aerialbots (aerialbotstaccommnet)  
Protectobots (protectobotstaccommnet)  
Rescue team (rescuetaccommnet)  
Medical team (medicaltaccommnet)  
Subject: Code R-29  
Gestalt teams move to assist, priority one. Rescue team on standby, Medical team prepare to receive

From: Aerialbots (silverboltaerialbotstaccommnet)  
To: Designated OOD (primetaccommnet)  
Protectobots (protectobotstaccommnet)  
Subject: Re Code R-29  
Copy, moving out. ETA 10 minutes

From: Protectobots (protectobotstaccommnet)  
To: Designated OOD (primetaccommnet)  
Aerialbots (aerialbotstaccommnet)  
Subject: Re Code R-29  
Copy, ETA 25 minutes

From: Medical Team-CMO (cmomedicaltaccommnet)  
To: Medical team (medicaltaccommnet)  
Subject:  
'jack, clear the bay, Percy, Spike, Carly, in here. 'Aid, sitrep on arrival

From: Aerialbots (silverboltaerialbotstaccommnet)  
To: Protectobots (protectobotstaccommnet)  
Designated OOD (primetaccommnet)  
Subject: report  
Blitzwing routed, both twins and Jazz are down, securing the area. Skyfire requested for emergency evacuation.

From: Designated OOD (primetaccommnet)  
To: Rescue team- Skyfire (skyfirerescuetaccommnet)  
Subject:  
Three mechs down and requiring airlift

From: Rescue team- Skyfire (skyfirerescuetaccommnet)  
To: Designated OOD (primetaccommnet)  
Subject: Re  
On my way

From: Medical team- Designated Field Medic (firstaidmedicaltaccommnet)  
To: Medical team (medicaltaccommnet)  
Subject: Sit-rep  
Attachment: sitrep.doc  
Three mechs at status one, two Aerials at status four. ETA eight minutes.

From: Medical team CMO (cmomedicaltaccommnet)  
To: Medical team Designated Field Medic (firstaidmedicaltaccommnet)  
Subject: Re Sit-rep  
Attachment received

From: Designated OOD (primetaccommnet)  
To: Aerialbots (aerialbotstaccommnet)  
Protectobots (protectobotstaccommnet)  
Rescue team (rescuetaccommnet)  
Subject: All units stand down  
Return to base. First on scene reports to be handed in after arrival, follow up reports in the morning

0o0o0

From: Slag (slagtrannet)  
To: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
Subject?  
What happen out there?

From: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
To: Slag (slagtrannet)  
Subject: Re ?  
Jazz and the twins got attacked by Blitzwing

From: Slag (slagtrannet)  
To: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re ?  
They gonna be ok?

From: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
To: Slag (slagtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re ?  
We don't know yet, but I'll tell you as soon as I do.

From: Slag (slagtrannet)  
To: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re ?  
Ok.

0o0o0

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Report  
Attachment: Report.doc

From what we could see it looked like Blitzwing attacked from concealment and blew Sunstreaker off the road. When Jazz arrived he dropped a minor rockfall on him and Sideswipe.

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
Subject: Re Report  
Attachment received

Thank you Silverbolt. You and your team remain on standby alert, just in case there's a follow up attack.

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Report  
Copy that Prime.

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: Fwd: Report  
Fwd Attachment: Report.doc

Recommendations to prevent a repeat event on my desk by tomorrow evening.

From: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re Fwd: Report  
Attachment received

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re Fwd: Report  
Attachment received

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re Fwd: Report  
Attachment received

0o0o0

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: How are they?

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re How are they?  
Jazz is stable, 'jack's fabricating two new legs and a right arm for him now. Twins are both on full life support, Sunstreaker went into shock on the table and almost took his brother with him. None of them will be leaving Repair for at least a fortnight. Do me a slagging favour and make sure this doesn't happen again.

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re Re How are they?  
Copy that Ratchet.

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: hey

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re hey  
Hey yourself. I know this is a superfluous question, but how do you feel?

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re hey  
heh between th repairs and th happy fun la-la juice not too bad….im seeing stars this time… hows th rellies back in Raro?

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re hey  
I have not yet heard from them, but I assume they are well. Go back to recharge before Ratchet catches you.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re hey  
yes boss..


	14. Chapter 14

Communiqué 13

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Hey guys  
How are you feeling?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Hey guys  
Not too bad all things considered, thanks. Goldie is finally recharging and you should hear some of the stuff Jazz is spouting off

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Hey guys  
Has Ratchet still got him on those meds?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Hey guys  
Yep. He's weaning him off 'em now that he's got all his limbs back and won't get all panicky. Don't you worry about him, he'll be fine.

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Hey guys  
Ok, thanks Sideswipe

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Hey guys  
No problem babe ; )

0o0o0

From: Admin (trantrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Warning  
System maintenance will be carried out at 1700 hrs. Some system disruption may occur. Please switch to other communication systems should this occur.

0o0o0

From: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
To: Beachcomber (rocksbottrannet)  
Subject:  
Dude!

From: Beachcomber (rocksbottrannet  
To: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
Subject: Re  
Dude!

From: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
To: Beachcomber (rocksbottrannet  
Subject: Re Re  
Dude?

From: Beachcomber (rocksbottrannet  
To: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re  
Totally dude.

From: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
To: Beachcomber (rocksbottrannet  
Subject: Re Re Re Re  
Dude.

From: Sludge (sludgetrannet)  
To: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
Subject?  
What dude?

From: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
To: Sludge (sludgetrannet)  
Subject: Re ?  
We're going to watch surfer movies tonight. Want to join us?

From: Sludge (sludgetrannet)  
To: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re ?  
Me come.

0o0o0

From: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Regarding the press  
Attachment: Pressrelease.doc  
In order to stave off the human media and their incessant pestering about Spike and Carly's wedding, I have been in contact with a femme from the news agency on Cybertron, a reporter by the name of Headline, and prepared a suitable press release.

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Subject: Re Regarding the press  
Attachment received

Thank you Red Alert, I will read it as soon as I get a chance.

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject:  
Fwd Attachment: Pressrelease.doc

Please read through this and make sure it's ok for release.

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Subject: Re  
Attachment received

Will do Prime. Jazz ain't going anywhere for a while so I'll get him to take a look too.

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re  
Thank you

0o0o0

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Oh slag…  
…I just realised something.

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Oh slag…  
…I am so tempted to say something that'll get me so flattened X D

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Oh slag…  
Don't be an idiot, this is serious! If we're not able to take the bridal party that means that Tracks is going to!

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Oh slag…  
…

…not gonna happen.

0o0o0

From: Pipes (packrattrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Guess what

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Pipes (packrattrannet)  
Subject: Re Guess what  
What?

From: Pipes (packrattrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Guess what  
You know your poofy froufrou dress?

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Pipes (packrattrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Guess what  
…you didn't

From: Pipes (packrattrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Guess what  
I did. It's framed and hanging on the wall now.

0o0o0

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
Subject:  
You Swoop take a look at him Sludge.

From: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
To: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
Subject: Re  
What wrong with him Sludge?

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
Subject: Re Re  
Him Sludge have problem with vocal unit. Say 'Dude' all the time.

From: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
To: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re  
Okay. Me go find him now.

0o0o0

From: Grapple (grappletrannet)  
To: Hoist (autobothoisttrannet)  
Subject: Inventory  
…I think I may cheerfully strangle whoever stocked these shelves last. I have five inch bolts in with the three inch screws, motor relays and neural relays in the same box, raw materials for fabrication stacked anywhere and Primus knows what else is missing or unaccounted for!

From: Hoist (autobothoisttrannet)  
To: Grapple (grappletrannet)  
Subject: Re Inventory  
Oh dear. Let me round up any stray bodies that are hanging around and I will come to assist you shortly.

0o0o0

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Cosmos (autoufotrannet)  
Subject: Explanation please  
Link: reuters. com News.CropCirclesfoundinKansaswheatfield. aspx

From: Cosmos (autoufotrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Explanation please  
It wasn't me this time! I was monitoring Central Mongolia when that happened!

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Cosmos (autoufotrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Explanation please  
'this time' ?

From: Admin (trantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Error  
Message failed. Message recipient in communication black zone.

0o0o0

From: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
To: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Subject: Problem  
Broker just called. General Motors are holding a stockholders meeting and we have to attend this time. How on earth are we going to handle this?

From: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
To: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
Subject: Re Problem  
Bother…

Let me get back from patrol first and we'll figure something out.

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: You! Here!  
'Aid, get in here and take over. I'm taking a mental health day.

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re You! Here!  
Huh? What..what?

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re You! Here!  
I have two Lamborghinis determined to walk out of here next week and a Porsche going through withdrawal. I'm going on Hound and Skyfire's little PR trip. I need to get out of here to save what little sanity I have left.

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re You! Here!  
…somehow I think it's going to take more than a day to fix that boss.

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re You! Here!  
…you must really be looking forward to inventory for the next three weeks.

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re You! Here!  
0.0! I'm on my way now boss!

0o0o0

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Perceptor (perceptortrannet)  
Subject: Right  
You ready to tackle this maintenance job on 'tran yet?

From: Perceptor (perceptortrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Re Right  
Yes, I am suitably prepared. I will meet you at Teletran in two minutes.

0o0o0

From: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
Subject: See it yet?

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
To: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: Re See it yet?  
If by that you mean the latest trophy in the lounge, then yup

From: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re See it yet?  
Heh, looks like the frou-frou dress died hard ; )

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
To: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re See it yet?  
But it did die. I think that's what really matters to Carly ; )

From: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re See it yet?  
Heh, yup

0o0o0

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
Subject?  
You seen Ratchet?

From: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Re ?  
Yes I have, he is currently over in the north east end of the park. I believe he's been cornered by those two women we saw earlier

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re ?  
Which two? There's been a few of them ; )

From: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re ?  
I believe it was the woman with the corgi and the bicycle and the woman with that miniature Australian sheepdog or whatever it was.

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re ?  
Heh, really? I think that's the last we're going to see of him for a long time. We'll go rescue him when it's time to roll out.

From: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re ?  
Uh..ok. Whatever you say.

0o0o0

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Subject: Important  
Just got a transmission from some Pentagon hotshot Brigadier General O'Neill, there's a project that they've got running an--

-message interrupted-

-error- server malfunction-

-error 500- server down-

-error error error error error error error error error…

0oo0

"….bugger."

"My sentiments exactly Wheeljack."


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N: I know, I know, I know, this one's been a long time coming. But in any case, I lay the blame for this one solely at the feet of Epona. She's the one who came up with the idea of a splinter faction of an alien worshipping cult that's attached themselves to the 'bots. These guys like to camp out in the forest around the Ark and partake of rites and rituals that include reciting long strings of binary code after a few puffs of the wacky 'baccy, wear paint and paper mache masks and broadcast 'worship anthems' over the radio bands. Said worship anthems can be best described as the love child of a digeridoo and bagpipes on helium, with techo whale song and engine noises played at varying speeds thrown in for good measure. They also mob any Autobot or Autobot-associated person they can get their hands on. It's not a happy experience for the Autobot. _

Communique 15

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
Subject: Time to kick it in gearTh' wedding is comin' up so let's get ready. Be at the basketball court at 1930, I'll make sure th' high command keep off our backs for our planning meet ; )

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Time to kick it in gear  
Us Dinobots be there.

From: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Time to kick it in gear  
So shall Smokescreen and I.

From: Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Time to kick it in gear  
I'll tell Wheeljack to cook up some of those Lewis-bomb inspired things of his.

0o0o0

From: Hound (houndtac-comnet)  
To: Designated OOD (prowltac-commnet)  
Subject: Long-patrol report  
Just spotted something odd in Sector GA3, I'm investigating now and going radio silent.

From: Designated OOD (prowltac-commnet)  
To: Hound (houndtac-comnet)  
Subject: Re Long-patrol report  
Message received, I'm putting the Aerialbots on standby.

From: Designated OOD (prowltac-commnet)  
To: Silverbolt ()  
Subject: Possible activity in Sector GA3  
Your team is now on standby alert.

From: Silverbolt (silverbolttac-commnet)  
To: Designated OOD (prowltac-commnet)  
Subject: Re Possible activity in Sector GA3  
Copy that, confirming standby.

0o0o0

From: Hot Spot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
Subject: No

From: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
To: Hot Spot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: Re No  
But Hot Spot! Look at it, it's so beautiful!

From: Hot Spot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re No  
I don't care. You know the rules Groove, no pets that could eat Twostroke. Put the python back.

From: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
To: Hot Spot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re No  
But it's so lonely!

From: Hot Spot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: Groove (gowiththeflowtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re No  
No

0o0o0

From: Nightwatch (squadcommanderopscom)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Oi! You!  
Guess what.

Your pet security officer just requisitioned my team to help with security for this 'wedding' thing.

By the way, tell Blaster he can expect to get his head staved in with a sledgehammer for sending all that 'music' up here. Vibe, my new comm. officer, now feels the need to play Blur's Song 2 every time we do an air drop.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Nightwatch  
Subject: Re Oi! You!  
You are? That's great! When are y' coming down here?

Heh, and I'll warn him. You might wanna hide afterwards though. Our CMO doesn't like folks doing that. He gets cranky. Cranky Hatchet bad.

From: Nightwatch (squadcommanderopscom)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Oi! You!  
Going by local time measurement it's… two days, 4 hours and 35 minutes. It should give us enough time to get to know the local area.

Shadow and Vibe tell me that your pet security officer used to run the Counter Intel department at the Academy. Do you mind if we do a security run once we get down there?

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Nightwatch  
Subject: Re Re Re Oi! You!  
A run eh? I won't get in your way ; )

Gonna go for general massacre or are there certain mechs ya wanna pick off?

From: Nightwatch (squadcommanderopscom)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Oi! You!  
All the officers we can lay our hands on and anyone who gets in our way.

By the way, what does ' ; )' mean? It doesn't translate.

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Nightwatch (squadcommanderopscom)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Oi! You!  
It's called a 'smiley', local thing. I'll 'splain when you get here.

From: Nightwatch (squadcommanderopscom)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Oi! You!  
Uh…okay.

0o0o0

From: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
To: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Subject: New opportunity  
I'll meet you in the lounge in five minutes, our broker just called with something quite interesting.

0o0o0

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
Subject: Don't look so suspicious if you don't wanna get caught  
I know Jazz is up to something, but Red's gonna pop a gasket if he catches you and your lot looking so sneaky. Go outside or somethin' where he can't see ya

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: Re Don't look so suspicious if you don't wanna get caught  
How you Ironhide know what him Jazz doing?

Us Dinobots go outside, but only because we no want him Red Alert getting mad and breaking his head again.

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: I have solved your problem!

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re I have solved your problem!  
I wasn't aware that I had one, but please go ahead

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Subject: Re Re I have solved your problem!  
You need to get hitched.

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re I have solved your problem!  
…I beg your pardon?

Hold on, priority traffic coming through from Hound

From: Hound (houndtac-comnet)  
To: Designated OOD (prowltac-commnet)  
Subject: Priority Alert!  
I just ran across a band of Autopians! It looked like they were getting ready to start broadcasting their 'worship anthems', and the rest are chasing me! I need a hot evac, now!

From: Designated OOD (prowltac-commnet)  
To: Hound (houndtac-comnet)  
Subject: Re Priority Alert!  
Copy that Hound, I'm dispatching Blades to pick you up

From: Designated OOD (prowltac-commnet)  
To: Blades ()  
Subject: Priority Alert  
Hound is being pursued by a band of Autopians somewhere around Sector G.A.3, find him and extract him now!

From: Blades (bladestac-commnet)  
To: Designated OOD (prowltac-commnet)  
Subject: Re Priority Alert  
Copy, lift off in 2

From Designated OOD (prowltac-commnet)  
To: All addresses at tac-commnet  
Subject: Priority Alert  
Autopians have been spotted in or around Sector G.A.3, begin base lockdown!

From: Blaster (bebopbottrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: BAD MUSIC!  
badmusicbadmusicbadmusicbadmusic…-message interrupted, sender signal lost-

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Got a live one!  
I'm dragging Blaster in, those painted people are back. Blaster's sedated by the way and I think we can expect Jazz later, the Autopians must have some new broadcasting equipment

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Re Got a live one!  
Slaggit

0o0o0

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Stop panicking  
Everything will be fine, love. Don't worry.

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Stop panicking  
'Stop panicking' he says? STOP PANICKING!? Primus below Spike, we've got less than a week until the wedding and we've got the freaking Autopians camped somewhere in the forest outside the base! Mother's having a fit!

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Stop panicking  
Carly, breathe. Have some tea. I'll call in some favours and see if I can make them go away, okay?

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Stop panicking  
Who on earth could possibly make them go away? I know Nana Caroline's tough, but I think these odds are long even for her. And all these great big alien warriors are too –scared- to head out there.

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Stop panicking  
Trust me : )

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Stop panicking  
Spike my darling, you know I love you, but you creep me out when you walk around and smile like that. You look too much like Sideswipe.

…and please don't tell me that thing was from your V costume.

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Stop panicking

I'll explain later love, I've gotta make a call then make a run into town. If I'm not back by tomorrow the Autopians have me.

0o0o0

Administrator: Internal system log  
Subject: Outgoing phone call  
Action: routed to secure outside line- recipient unknown  
Transcript: Begin recording at 1302 hours

"General Hawk speaking."  
"Good afternoon General, it's Spike here."  
"Spike! It's good to hear from you son, how are things? Has something happened with the wedding plans?"  
"Uh, about that. We've hit a bit of a snag and I was wondering if I could ask a favour."  
"Sure, go right ahead."  
"Can I borrow Snake Eyes and Kamakura?"


	16. Chapter 16butreallyit's14

_A/N: Two things before this bit of madness starts. Sorry guys, but this isn't the next chapter in the madness. It's actually supposed to be the one prior. The only problem is that ffnet amuses itself by eating the format if I so much as twitch wrong, so it's too big of a hassle to switch everything around I'm afraid. _

_This brings me to the second thing. ffnet decided that it likes the tactical comm net addys as snacks and eats them whenever I try to put them in, so I've just left it as is, aside from putting the speaker's name in if it isn't clear who's talking. _

_Sorry about that_

Communiqué 14

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: Oi!  
Sit! Stay! Good boy.

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re Oi!  
Hey! I resent that implication!

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject:  
Resent or resemble? ; )

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Re  
X P

0o0o0

From: Fireflight (wingnuttrannet)  
To: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
Subject: ?  
What's an eight letter word meaning 'prudish'?

From: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
To: Fireflight (wingnuttrannet)  
Subject: Re ?  
Pudibund

0o0o0

From: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Just thought you'd like to know  
Blitzwing has been taken care of for now. It never fails to astound me how vulnerable so many vehicles are to a brick or two of Semtex in the right place.

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Subject: Re Just thought you'd like to know  
I knew there was a reason we liked you ; )

0o0o0

From: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
To: Slag (slagtrannet)  
Subject:  
Where my sword?

From: Slag (slagtrannet)  
To: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
Subject: Re  
Him Sludge borrow it. He in training hall. His broke yesterday.

From: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
To: Slag (slagtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re  
Him Sludge stop saying dude yet?

From: Slag (slagtrannet)  
To: Swoop (swooptrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re  
Nope

0o0o0

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
To: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
Subject: …  
I'm gonna go nuts if I sit around here much longer

You think if we annoy Hatchet enough he'll throw us out?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydeviltrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: Re…  
It's worth a shot. Let's get Jazz in on this too.

0o0o0

From: Streetwise (trekkerbottrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: PANIC STATIONS!  
Scary Lady incoming! ETA ten minutes! Somebody find Killer Granny!

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: HIDE THE DRESS!

0o0o0

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Optimus Prime (optimustrannet)  
Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Subject: Ok..  
Who's turn is it this time?

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Optimus Prime (optimustrannet  
Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Subject: Re Ok..  
I've instructed Teletran to pick a name at random.

From: Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Optimus Prime (optimustrannet  
Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Subject: Re Ok..  
It's your turn Optimus.

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Prowl (autobotprowltrannet)  
Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Ok  
Joy.

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet  
Subject:  
Heh, just remember that she's only a lil' thing and you'll be fine.

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: Re  
Says the mech who will be safe and snug in the Control room for the duration of her visit.

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet  
Subject: Re Re  
Yup.

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet  
To: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re  
You don't have even a shred of pity for me, do you?

From: Ironhide (ironhidetrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet  
Subject: Re Re ReRe  
Nope.

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: #!  
Fraggit Jazz! One more escape attempt and I'll tie you down and make you watch My Little Pony re-runs!

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Re #!  
O.O

0o0o0

From: Rewind (trivianuttrannet)  
To: Steeljaw (trackntracetrannet)  
Subject: Um…  
Are you sure this is necessary? I mean we can get another ball I'm sure and this one's bound to fall out of the tree eventually…

From: Steeljaw (trackntracetrannet)  
To: Rewind (trivianuttrannet)  
Subject: Re Um…  
You put my ball in the tree. You get it down. Now.

0o0o0

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Perceptor (perceptortrannet)  
Subject: Hey  
'breaker just came around with the mail sack. There's a letter here for you from the Phoenix Foundation.

From: Perceptor (perceptortrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Re Hey  
Oh? Can you please give me a summary of it's contents? I am at the moment quite occupied with monitoring my current experiment.

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Perceptor (perceptortrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Hey  
Sure. It's an invitation to a symposium with a name that I'm not even going to try and pronounce out loud.

From: Perceptor (perceptortrannet)  
To: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Hey  
Ah yes, I have been expecting this for some time. If I could further impose on you to put it in my locker I will attend to it as soon as I am able. Have you yet been able to exchange correspondence with Mr Hyneman?

From: Wheeljack (kaboomtrannet)  
To: Perceptor (perceptortrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Hey  
I completely forgot! Thanks for the reminder Perceptor, I'll get on it as soon as I've finished this project.

0o0o0

From: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
To: Fireflight (wingnuttrannet)  
Subject: Six down  
Any clue?

From: Fireflight (wingnuttrannet)  
To: Trailbreaker (bignblacktrannet)  
Subject: Re Six down  
Walt Disney

0o0o0

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
To: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: Have you noticed?

From: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
Subject: Re Have you noticed?  
Noticed what?

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
To: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Have you noticed?  
Blades and Air Raid. They haven't been squabbling since Blades took that trip to the children's hospital.

From: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Have you noticed?  
…you're right. Don't say anything else about it, you might jinx it.

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolttrannet)  
To: Hotspot (tlhotspottrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Have you noticed?  
Got it.

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedeviltrannet)  
Subject: SIT YOUR AFT DOWN BEFORE I WELD IT DOWN!

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
Subject: Um..  
Boss? You sure you don't want to take a break or something?

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchettrannet)  
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
Subject: Re Um..  
I'm fine!

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprenticetrannet)  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Code One Alert  
Stay well away from Medical unless it is a genuine emergency. Ratchet's in a bad mood.

0o0o0

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Y'know love  
I'm so glad we got everything sorted out. Now Scary Lady has nowhere to stick her nose in.

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Y'know love  
So am I. Having giant robots for friends can be so useful sometimes.

What will we do if the Decepticons attack on the day though?

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Y'know love  
Trust me, Nana Caroline will probably take the lot of them to task for it. She'll have Frenzy and Rumble as busboys at the reception, put the Seekers, Constructicons, Ravage and Coneheads into the security detail, have Buzzsaw and Laserbeak help film everything, press the Stunticons into transport duty and make Megatron sit in the corner.

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Y'know love  
LOL! Oh the images!

0o0o0

From: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet  
To: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
Subject: Question  
Have you been able to finalise a plan to prevent the Decepticons from interrupting the wedding?

From: Red Alert (redalerttrannet)  
To: Optimus Prime (optimustrannet  
Subject: Re Question  
Of course! The plans will be on your desk by 1800 hours.

0o0o0

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
Subject: So..  
What did you think of that little PR trip we took last week?

From: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Re So..  
I thought it was quite interesting. The children especially were quite fascinating to watch

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re So..  
Yeah, they are. They never fail to amaze me.

From: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re So..  
I noticed that the fascination appeared to be mutual in your regard ; )

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re So..  
Heh, yep, that's me. Pied Piper of Hamlin.

From: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re So..  
The what?

From: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
To: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re So..  
The Pied Piper of Hamlin, it's a folk tale from Europe. I'll give you the bookfile as soon as we get back to the Ark.

From: Skyfire (gentlegianttrannet)  
To: Hound (lonegreenrangertrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Re So..  
Thank you Hound

I think it's going to have to wait though, I just picked up a group of Decepticons heading on a trajectory towards Arizona. Calling it in now.

From: Skyfire ()  
To: Designated OOD () _Prowl  
_Subject: Heads up  
Decepticons detected on trajectory to Arizona, approx 125 degrees magnetic

From: Designated OOD ()_Prowl_  
To: Skyfire ()  
Hound ()  
Subject: Re Heads up  
Thank you, alter course to track but do not engage  
Hound, remain on patrol

From: Designated OOD () _Prowl_  
To: Aerialbots ()  
Smokescreen ()  
Mirage ()  
Cosmos ()  
Medical team ()  
Subject: Decepticon incursion  
Decepticons located en-route to Arizona, approx 125 degrees magnetic. Cosmos, track and provide co-ordinates, Aerialbots and warriors to assemble with Designated Field Medic at main entrance. Leave when all present and Cosmos is tracking.

From: Medical team-CMO () _Ratchet_  
To: Medical team ()  
Subject: Clear the bays  
Am clearing medical, switching call-sign to Designated Field Medic. 'Aid, you're CMO. Jack, Percy, Spike, Carly, Sparkplug, get in here!

From: Medical team- CMO () _First Aid_  
To: Medcial team- Designated Field Medic () _Ratchet_  
Subject: Re Clear the bays  
Copy, on my way now.

From: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
To: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
Subject: Heh  
Never thought I'd see the day when Meggy rescues us from Scary Lady's clutches

From: Carly (technochicktrannet)  
To: Spike (autobotsquishytrannet)  
Subject: Re Heh  
Same here handsome

From: Aerialbots () _Silverbolt_  
To: Designated OOD () _Prowl_  
Subject: En-route  
Cosmos is transmitting progressive location, battlegroup is en-route now

From: Cosmos ()  
To: Designated OOD () _Prowl_  
Subject: Probable target  
Palo Verde Nuclear Power Plant

From: Designated OOD () _Prowl_  
To: Cosmos ()  
Subject: Re Probable target  
Copy, thank you

From: Designated OOD () _Prowl_  
To: Aerialbots ()  
Smokescreen ()  
Bumblebee ()  
Mirage ()  
Cosmos ()  
Medical Team- Designated Field Medic ()  
Subject: Probable target  
Palo Verde Nuclear Power Plant

From: Aerialbots () _Silverbolt  
_To: Designated OOD () _Prowl_  
Subject: Re Probable target  
Copy, ETA 35 minutes

From: Tracks ()  
To: Designated OOD () _Prowl_  
Subject: Decepticon sighting!  
Just located the Constructicons in New York City, heading for the doc-- message interrupted- signal interference

From: Designated OOD () _Prowl_  
To: Communications team ()  
Cliffjumper ()  
Warpath ()  
Windcharger ()  
Bluestreak ()  
Powerglide ()  
Subject: Decepticons in NYC  
Tracks has reported the Constructicons in New York, possibly waterfront area. Soundwave possibly in the area. Investigate and maintain radio silence until area deemed clean.

From: Aerialbots () _Silverbolt  
_To: Designated OOD () _Prowl_  
Subject: Engaging enemy now

From: Skyfire ()  
To: Medical team- Designated Field Medic ()  
Subject: Autobots down!  
AirRaid and Silverbolt shot down by Seekers, went down in bluffs to the south of the plant. Going in to provide cover and airlift.

From: Mirage ()  
To: Designated OOD () _Prowl_  
Subject: Decepticons retreating  
Suspect this was a diversionary attack, Decepticons are now pulling back

From: Blaster ()  
To: Designated OOD () _Prowl_  
Subject: Too late  
Decepticons have long come and gone, ripped open Tony Stark's shack and were out again, just like that.

From: Designated OOD () _Prowl_  
To: Mirage ()  
Blaster ()  
Subject: All units  
Enact clean up and return to base. Group leaders to submit first on scene reports after arrival, follow-up reports to be submitted tonight.

From: Mirage ()  
To: Designated OOD () _Prowl_  
Subject: Re All units  
Copy, ETA 2 hours

From: Blaster ()  
To: Designated OOD () _Prowl_  
Subject: Re All units  
Gotcha, back in 2 hours and thirty.

From: Medical team- Designated Field Medic () _Ratchet_  
To: Medical team- CMO () _First Aid_  
Subject: Sit-rep  
Attachment:sitrep.doc  
Two stable status two's, fliers are alive and moaning, Skyfire is transporting. Three walking wounded. ETA 45 minutes

From: Medical team- CMO () _First Aid_  
To: Medical team- Designated Field Medic () _Ratchet_  
Subject: Re Sit-rep  
Attachment received

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
Mirage (foxtrottrannet)  
Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
Subject: Was thinking  
It'd be rather rude if the 'cons decided to interrupt the wedding next week. You mechs interested in having a lil pow-wow an' figuring out somethin' t' keep 'em otherwise occupied?

From: Grimlock (megrimlocktrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Was thinking  
Me come.

From: Smokescreen (bettingbottrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Was thinking  
Mirage and I are in

From: Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
To: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
Subject: Re Was thinking  
Count me in! Want me to go see if Wheeljack has any spare explosives he can 'lose'?

From: Jazz (dajazzmantrannet)  
To: Bumblebee (buzzybeetrannet)  
Subject: Re Re Was thinking  
Sure. Won't be a party without a few fireworks ; )


	17. Chapter 17

_A/N: FFnet ate the addys again, you get the idea ;)_

Communique 16

From: Optimus Prime ()  
To: All addresses at  
Subject: Stand down  
The Autopians have left, return to standby, base security now normal.

From: Optimus Prime ()  
To: Spike ()  
Subject: I have to ask  
How did you manage it?

From: Spike()  
To: Optimus Prime()  
Subject: Re I have to ask  
Well... it's surprising how much you can talk a bunch of doped-up space hippies into when you've got two ninja and a great big timber wolf to back you up. I'll give you the full brief later, I've gotta shower this stuff off before Carly sees me.

From: Optimus Prime()  
To: Spike()  
Subject: Re Re I have to ask

Fair enough, and if you could pass on my thanks to General Hawk when Snake Eyes and Kamakura return I would be very grateful. Those Autopians are harder to remove than that skidplate cement Ratchet uses to keep Prowl down.

From: Spike()  
To: Optimus Prime()  
Subject: Re Re Re I have to ask

Heh, no problem Optimus

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe ()  
To: Bluestreak ()  
Subject: Didja get it?

From: Bluestreak()  
To: Sideswipe()  
Subject: Re Didja get it?  
Yes I got it, it's right here in my room right where you told me to put it so you could pick it up later and use it, it was really hard to find though and I was wondering why did you send me to get it when you've got a day off too and it'd have been much easier just for you to go and get it instead of me having to try and find it and did you know it's really hard to fit in those toyshop doors?

From: Sideswipe()  
To: Bluestreak()  
Subject: Re Re Didja get it?

Blue, what did I tell you?

From: Bluestreak()  
To: Sideswipe()  
Subject: Re Re Re Didja get it?

Oh yeah, don't ask questions 'cause if you don't ask questions then you don't know answers and if you don't know answers then you can't lie and lying to Prowl is a really bad idea and lying to Prime is worse. Shutting up now.

From: Sideswipe()  
To: Bluestreak()  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Didja get it?

Good boy! : D

0o0o0

From: Ratchet()  
To: Jazz()  
Blaster()  
Subject: It's safe now  
So get lost. If you feel dizzy or anything or if the sedatives haven't fully worn off get back in here.

0o0o0

From: Carly()  
To: Spike()  
Subject: What the hell is this thing on the table?

From: Spike()  
To: Carly()  
Subject: Re What the hell is this thing on the table?  
It's a mask the Autopians gave to me. I think it's supposed to represent Prime but I'm not sure what the artist was smoking at the time. They made me take it and those bead things. Can you put it away somewhere and get that steak out of the freezer for the ninjas and the wolf? This paint isn't coming off easy so I'm gonna be a while.

From: Carly()  
To: Spike()  
Subject: Re Re What the hell is this thing on the table?

Paint? I'm...not going to ask.

0o0o0

From: Jazz()  
To: Prowl()  
Subject: um...  
Hey Prowl, y'know how Red contracted the 166's t' do security for the wedding? I really, really, really, really strongly suggest you don't leave Caps alone with 'Jack and don't tell Red why unless you want fricasseed Security Director

From: Prowl()  
To: Jazz()  
Subject: Re um...  
May I ask why?

From: Jazz()  
To: Prowl()  
Subject: Re Re um...

Well, you know how Ratchet's always sayin' Jack is an explosion looking for a place to happen?

From: Prowl()  
To: Jazz()  
Subject: Re Re Re um...

Yes...why?

From: Jazz()  
To: Prowl()  
Subject: Re Re Re Re um...

Caps makes explosions contagious

From: Prowl()  
To: Jazz()  
Subject: Re Re Re um...

Oh no

From: Prowl()  
To: Optimus Prime()  
Subject:  
Attachment- transcript 2634

From: Optimus Prime()  
To: Prowl()  
Subject: Re  
Attachment received

Indeed.

I'll make sure they keep well away from each other.

From: Optimus Prime()  
To: Ratchet()  
Subject: Early warning  
Fwd attachment- transcript 2634

From: Ratchet()  
To: Optimus Prime()  
Subject: Re Early warning  
Attachment received

Thanks. I'll deal with this.

From: Ratchet()  
To: Wheeljack()  
Subject: Get over here

From: Wheeljack()  
To: Ratchet()  
Subject: Re Get over here  
Yep, just a tic, arm deep in a generator, be with you in ten

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe()  
To: Sunstreaker ()  
Subject: Mwahaha  
They're in place and I have photographic evidence!

0o0o0

From: Mirage()  
To: Smokescreen()  
Subject: Question

Remember that little venture you told me not to invest in?

From: Smokescreen()  
To: Mirage()  
Subject: Re Question

You didn't.

From: Mirage()  
To: Smokescreen()  
Subject: Re Re Question

I did. Profit of 7.8% in the first quarter. I told you Stark Industries was a good bet

From: Smokescreen()  
To: Mirage()  
Subject: Re Re Question

Slaggit

0o0o0

From: Skyfire()  
To: Cosmos()  
Subject: You got careless  
That farmer had a camera

From: Cosmos()  
To: Skyfire()  
Subject: Re You got careless  
I'm going to Ganymede. Call me when Prowl calms down?

From: Skyfire()  
To: Cosmos()  
Subject: Re Re You got careless

No, because he won't. Just be glad it only got into the tabloids and Prowl doesn't read those.

From: Cosmos()  
To: Skyfire()  
Subject: Re Re Re You got careless

And you do?

0o0o0

From: Hotspot()  
To: Blades()  
Subject: Huh?  
Blades, what on earth is that thing on your back?

From: Blades()  
To: Hotspot()  
Subject: Re Huh?  
What thing?

From: Hotspot()  
To: Blades()  
Subject: Re Re Huh?

That thing on your rotors, hold on, I'm coming over

0o0o0

From: Spike()  
To: Ratchet()  
Subject: Help?  
Know of any paint strippers that can be used on skin? I think they used house paint on me or something.

From: Ratchet()  
To: Spike()  
Subject: Re Help?  
Why in the Pit did you let them paint you? Wait, no, don't answer that. Just get in here.

From: Spike()  
To: Ratchet()  
Subject: Re Re Help?

Coming

0o0o0

From: Red Alert()  
To: Hotspot()  
Inferno()

First Aid()  
Ratchet ()  
Subject: Alert!  
Electrical fire in Wheeljack's lab! Respond immediately!

From: Ratchet()  
To: Red Alert()  
First Aid()  
Subject: Re Alert!

I'll prep, zambuck, go scrape him up

From: First Aid()  
To: Ratchet()  
Red Alert()  
Subject: Re Re Alert!  
Got it boss, responding now

From: Inferno()  
To: Red Alert()  
Subject: Re Alert!  
Gotcha, responding

From: Hotspot ()  
To: Red Alert()  
Subject: Re Alert!  
Copy, on my way

From: Hotspot()  
To: Blades()  
Subject: back in a minute, 'jack's blown himself up again

0o0o0

From: Anon()  
To: All addresses  
Subject: Contraband raid at 1735!

0o0o0

From: Silverbolt()  
To: Air Raid()

Skydive()  
Fireflight()  
Slingshot()  
Subject: Don't. You. Dare.

Say one word to Blades and I will have your wings, and that's -after- he's done with you

0o0o0

From: Ironhide()  
To: Optimus Prime()  
Subject:  
Anything worth knowing f' the watch change?

From: Optimus Prime()  
To: Ironhide()  
Subject: Re  
Wheeljack has blown up a generator and is with Ratchet right now, the two Joes will be returning to their base in the morning, and we somehow need to keep the 116's demolitions expert away from Wheeljack for the duration of their stay.

From: Ironhide()  
To: Optimus Prime()  
Subject: Re Re  
Oh, so that's why the lights went funny. Caps is their demo mech, right? I've met the mech. He's a smart glitch and very enthusiastic. Good luck with him. You'll need it.

From: Optimus Prime()  
To: Ironhide()  
Subject: Re Re Re

I find your overwhelming concern for my situation touching.

From: Ironhide()  
To: Optimus Prime()  
Subject: Re Re Re Re

Y'welcome

0o0o0

From: Beachcomber()  
To: Groove()  
Subject: Duuuuude  
Dude, is that...?

From: Groove()  
To: Beachcomber()  
Subject: Re Duuuuude  
Yup

From: Beachcomber()  
To: Groove()  
Subject: Re Re Duuuuude

Duude. Should we tell Blades?

From: Groove()  
To: Beachcomber()  
Subject: Re Re Re Duuuuude  
...nah dude

From: Beachcomber()  
To: Groove()  
Subject: Re Re Re Re Duuuuude  
Dude.

0o0o0

From: Spike()  
To: Carly()  
Subject: Finally

Got the paint off (along with most of my body hair) how are the ninjas?

From: Carly()  
To: Spike()  
Subject: Re Finally  
They're okay... I think. It's kinda hard when one of them doesn't talk and won't eat if there's someone in the room. But the wolf seems to be enjoying the steak at least.

From: Spike()  
To: Carly()  
Subject: Re Re Finally  
Yeah, Snake Eyes doesn't like taking his mask off. He's good people though. I'll be back in a few, and I'll get to dinner when I get back.

0o0o0

From: Trailbreaker()  
To: Fireflight()  
Subject: Four down, five across  
The name of a television starship and one of the space shuttles, and captain of the former's middle name

From: Fireflight()  
To: Trailbreaker()  
Subject: Re Four down, five across  
Enterprise, and Tiberius

From: Trailbreaker()  
To: Fireflight()  
Subject: Re Re Four down, five across

Thanks

0o0o0

From: Hotspot()  
To: Blades()  
Subject: That's finally over with  
I'm on my way back. Still up on the lookout?

From: Blades()  
To: Hotspot()  
Subject: Re That's finally over with  
Yep, don't worry, I'll be on my way down soon, Swoop's coming to relieve me. I'll meet you back in our dorm.

From: Hotspot()  
To: Blades()  
Subject: Re Re That's finally over with

Okay, see you there

0o0o0

From: Swoop()  
To: Blades()  
Subject: ?  
Why you Blades have Care Bear pictures on your back?

From: Blades()  
To: Sideswipe()  
Subject: ^^%%#$*^%!!!  
YOU ARE DEAD!!!


End file.
